By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com
Planet Earth is going through extraordinary amounts of change. People are waking up to the truth everywhere, while others are determined to stay asleep, the economic system is potentially collapsing, and wars are raging worldwide. As we race towards our next evolutionary leap in consciousness (2012), the shit is hitting the fan. It’s getting harder and harder not to feel it. The transformations that are occurring right now are at times volatile and cathartic. To stay in balance, we must continually go inside to the Infinite Center, the sacred space of the heart, and connect to the Unity Grid. As the light reveals our shadows with such persistence, disembodied astral energy is released. This energy can present itself as entities, or disembodied spirits that attach themselves to humans. But, don’t be scared, it is also a time where you can release these energies easily and send them home. Most of the time they are very happy to leave the chaos.
What exactly is an “entity?” I define entities as energetic conglomerations vibrating at a level of negativity not optimal for human functionality. I also refer to them as critters, creepy crawlies, goobers, disincarnate spirits, cutie-pies and invisible enemies. They can range from almost harmless to deadly. Some are simply misplaced or lost and are grateful to be sent home. Others have an agenda of negativity that requires more skill to remove. In the world of healing, ceremony and light work it is essential that you be well versed and prepared for these energies. My colleague, Kelly Rose Zuvuya of ZuvuyaHeals.com, puts is beautifully:
An entity appears to need a physical body to fulfill a sense of safety. Since its consciousness exists in separation from the Divine, its energy is of extreme terror and believes that inhabiting (and sometimes controlling) a human body is its only option for survival. As healers we give the entity another option: to find safety in its reunion with the unconditional love of the Divine Source from which we came and to return to the light of its infinite existence.
While the idea of being possessed or inhabited with an entity is scary, in truth we need to keep in mind Kelly Rose’s words. This helps raise the vibration to a level of love, supporting its reunion with the Divine Source, its journey back home. If you go into anger or separation yourself as the healer, you will probably its next home. Sometimes energies do not want to go to the Divine Source, but they will go back to the dimension from which they came.
I’ve found this issue of entities to be complex. It is easy to place too much emphasis on them and say, “My entity made me do it.” It is also easy to dismiss them entirely with the idea that you wont be affected. Just stay in the vibration of love and you will not attract them. Well, this is true, but how many of us are vibrating at the level of love at all time? If you are a human being, there should be very few if any! You may be unaware of a wounding that can attract these astral energies. It is much better to be educated, than to use denial as a form of protection
WHY AND HOW DO ENTITIES ATTACH?
Entities need energy to survive on the lower astral planes and human beings are a great source of denser energy, keeping them as grounded and embodied as possible. Since they have consciousness, they also have purpose and look for bodies to express that purpose. They are able to attach to them through holes in the auric field as well as vibrational resonance. Vibrational resonance means that there is an aspect of your conscious that is in alignment with the entity’s consciousness. Through the Law of Attraction, the entity can attach to you. So if you are vibrating a lot of fear or anger, you will be more vulnerable because this is generally what feeds them. They also love the light, if they secretly long to go home, but it is harder to attach because the vibration is too quick for them. However if you have a lot of light, and you also have significant woundings vibrating at a lower rate, you are a main course and desert. For those who are open psychically, or people who are using drugs and/or are or have been exposed to abuse, you are particularly vulnerable because your field could have this configuration, as well as have many holes. Channeling and healing is less like a few holes and more like an open door, so you want to make sure you a good peek hole, or someone you trust to answer the doorbell. Entities can travel through lifetimes with you, so it’s a good idea to get checked at least once a lifetime.
How can you tell when you have been infiltrated? Sometimes that is tricky, and it is only over time that you are able to distinguish the change. Common symptoms are:
•Unexplained, persistent anger
•Trouble sleeping
•Nightmares
•Illness that does not get better
•Persistent fatigue
•Migraines
•Feelings of “not being yourself”
•Loss of motivation for your life goals- feeling like, “What’s the point?”
•Hearing voices, or seeing a recurring image of the energy
If you know someone who seems to be acting differently, not like themselves, more negative and you can no longer connect with them, it may be that they have been taken over by an entity. This is different from a walk in. A walk in is an agreement between two souls for the evolution of those two souls. Entity attachment, while it may serve your growth process, is not a “formal” agreement, but an unconscious agreement that can be easily reversed through healing, working your process and extraction.
Gossiping, back-stabbing, negatively projecting and victimizing are forms of psychic attack. You are sending energy conglomerations of attack to another, and you are also vibrating at a high level of negativity, harming yourself. Genuinely processing your anger, pain and shadow pieces with the intention of healing is not psychic attack. However it is important to do it in a safe container of healing, preferably with someone who is trained in supporting that process.
There are a few vulnerable areas for attachment worth mentioning. Especially susceptible areas are the second and third chakras and the back of your neck. One time, I accidentally took on an entity from a client after he had processed a great deal of anger. I was very tired with a sinus infection that day and hadn’t had enough time to properly set up protection for the room, nor was I looking for an entity. I’m sure my auric field was full of openings and it just jumped in, having nowhere else to go, when he unexpectedly released it. I experienced the entity entering my field as chills that ran through my body. These were not the fun, high vibrating chills, but the slower, lower ones- although they didn’t feel bad. It can be difficult to distinguish the difference, but there is one. I thought to myself, “Ooops.”
Over the next several days I became weaker and weaker. My anger levels began rising. Before I would fall asleep I could clearly see the image of the energy, which was an old wizard like being who was very angry at humanity. Sleep was restless and unsatisfying. By the time I got to my healer’s table, I was practically crawling I was so tired. This invisible enemy was literally sucking the life out of my third chakra, and would have inevitably led to a chronic fatigue illness. There was very little, if any vibrational resonance, and my healer effortlessly sent him home…away from humanity, and I instantly began to feel better.
Entities can also attach into your nervous system through your spine, and linger there for years, activating themselves much like a virus when you are weak, or vibrating at their level. This is a real energy drain and creates anxiety. I always check the spine of a client to make sure he or she is all clear.
I have also found a lot of astral beings residing in the heart. Many times these little goobers are unconsciously called in to protect a broken heart and will only leave if they are assured that the person will be cared for properly. They have strong sense of purpose and, taking their job seriously and mean no harm, but they are not vibrating at a level of love, they are vibrating with fear. For optimal growth, these beings must be removed so the healing process can begin. If they won’t budge, it means the client must do some deeper healing work to be ready to let go of the protection.
Many well-known celebrities contract entities. Those who have been exposed to personal trauma, abuse and drugs, while having millions of people psychically attack them on a daily basis don’t really have a fighting chance. You can see that they are no longer themselves, massive soul pieces have left them and they are headed on a road to destruction with no sense of self to fall back on. Removing the critters wouldn’t be the only thing necessary to mend those wounds, but it would be a great start.
PREVENTION AND PROTECTION
As with any type of affliction, prevention is the best medicine. Empowered love is your strongest tool. Developing your wisdom at the same rate as your ability to hold unconditional love gives you the sophistication you need to open to multiple dimensions. Your wisdom is your road map; your love is your adventurer.
The most important concepts to remember when you are opening up to energy from other dimensions are love, intentionality, sacred space and structural protection. The calling in of the four directions is a process of creating a strong, spiritual structure and boundary, supported by the forces of nature for you to surrender and relax into. This allows safety in the opening. I was lazy about this in the beginning of my practice. I had to learn the importance of maintaining the highest vibration and structure in my healing space the hard way, by getting bitten a few times. Placing sacred geometrical structures, built from a foundation of love, such as the octahedron, around you and the room is a great way to use structure. My healing room is “gridded” with sacred geometry on every surface. I’m not talking about building these structures physically, although you can, I am talking about creating them in spiritual space with your intention and your love. Taking the time to properly open and close spiritual space, to cleanse your environment with time tested techniques like smudging with sage or toning and having an ongoing spiritual practice are your best preventative strategies.
Taking this concept further, it is most important to keep your physical body vibrant, strong and healthy. Remember, you have more power in the physical dimension than any disincarnate spirit or negative energy. The more authentic power you feel within your physical structure, the more it will not house anything else but you. Exercise that works with your nervous system and spirit like yoga, martial arts and other Eastern-based systems are best. The body has wisdom. Its DNA codes are meant to be with your soul, your energy, and if you take care of it properly, your soul and body will have a mutually exclusive relationship. Monogamy takes work, but its rewards are a solid unit of safety, structure, flow and purpose. Now, you can have friends over, like high-level guides, but by invitation only! You can recognize these beings by their high vibration of love, wise guidance, and commitment to your highest growth. They respect your boundaries and want the best for you. If these principles are not reflected in your human relationships, chances are they are not reflected in your spiritual relationships either.
DRUG AND ALCOHOL USE
There are many who will disagree with my opinions on this subject, but I’m OK with that. My experience with drugs and alcohol is limited and in the past, mostly because I was so open in those days that it took very little to be astral food for night critters and the dearly departed. My third eye opened wide from the drugs and unsupervised psychic exploration and I was able to see everything. I could hear voices in my ear-calling my name- much like a radio dial switching stations when I was falling asleep. It was unpleasant. I was too afraid to go to horror movies, much less have to see and hear them in real life, so I took up yoga instead. I can always tell when a client has been using drugs because I have to do so much more repair work and clearing in the auric field and there are always entities. Kuthumi, channeled through Michelle Ellof from the Lightweaver.org states:
“Many have said using mind altering drugs, when you know what you are doing, is safe. No it's not, especially if there are still traumas locked in your body. If you still have deep wounds, you are running the risk of opening yourself up to something that you may not know how to deal with… even if there are facilitators holding you in the space. You open yourself to the astral world where things exist that you cannot even comprehend. The reason they exist is because humanity has brought it into existence through negativity and fear, and each of them build upon themselves. So, being in an environment where there is a lot of alcohol consumption and drug abuse, means not only are you partying with your friends but with a couple of invisible buddies too! And who’s to say what's on their menu?!”
Ceremonial medicine, in my opinion, has great value in spiritual growth, but it does attract and use entities as part of that process. I think it is harder to integrate these experiences in the modern world, but it’s really an individual choice. I have seen some of the largest and most powerful entities attached to those who do these ceremonies and then quickly return to modern life. I would advise setting aside a lot of time afterwards to integrate in nature first.
ENTITY REMOVAL
While it is possible to remove entities yourself, it requires some training, confidence and skill. Sometimes it’s best to have a professional do it. There are many ways to remove entities, but they all follow the same principles.
Simply put, after putting up all your protection and getting into a space of love, you tap into the vibration of the attached entity by finding the wounded place/distorted belief that the person holds. The healer goes into an altered space and meets the entity, many times dialoguing with respect to that being’s purpose and free will. The removal most often becomes a voluntary process as you offer it a better option. After the entity is extracted, it is sent back home or to the light, usually assisted by guides and angels. Archangel Michael is a good bet. The person must then continue their healing process and bring more of their own energy into their system so they no longer carry the vibration that attracted that entity. Many times as soon as the entity is released the person automatically refills his or herself and heals. The energy is really ready to leave because the belief had probably already been shifting.
Indigenous healers most often use the help of extraction crystals or other physical objects. As Kelly Rose Zuvuya mentioned, the entity feels safe within a physical body, so placing the energy inside of an object can be an easier and safer transition into wherever it needs to go. Sometimes they don’t want to go to the Divine, they would rather go back to their world, and back to their families. Soul retrieval is an excellent way to find the wounded place and bring in the clients energy.
In the case of my client who “passed the angry entity” to me, there was no extraction, the entity just jumped bodies, but the healing principles were the same. He faced his rage, came into his power, shifted his vibration, then released an entity just by that process, and a life long feeling of overpowering rage left him. He still gets angry from time to time, but it’s a healthy, manageable level. Situations like these are hazards of the job for a healer, but 99 percent of the time they are easily preventable. I shouldn’t have done the healing from an exhausted, sick place. Lesson learned.
Sometimes disincarnate souls are not attached to a person, but a property. One time I was doing a space clearing, and the soul of the previous owner was still attached to the property. She had killed herself and was lingering, filled with guilt. When I connected into her, she didn’t feel she deserved to be with God, that she had betrayed Him (these were her words.) Through the process of Theta Healing, I was able to download to her the feeling of being forgiven by God, of being loved by God, and of being wanted by God. Once this process unfolded, her vibration shifted, she thanked me and left as fast as she could.
While I wont go into possession, curses and black magic in this article, they follow the same principles, requiring more skill and energy to remove.
THE GIFT
With all this exposure to entities, I think what I am left with is a deeper appreciation for the human body. It’s in high demand! It is a powerful partner in life and deserves to be taken care of properly. When my body is attended to and strong, my boundaries are clear and nobody messes with me. I also am touched by the sincerity of many of these energies, their longing to be with God is the same as my own, and their willingness to receive help surpasses most humans. The goal of healing is not to remove an entity, but to further experience our divine, infinite selves. To me, offering an entity the chance to go home, is the same as offering an unhealed, separated aspect of our consciousness the opportunity to go home, to return to our Divine Source, the Infinite Center.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Surrender and Betrayal: Divine Partnership
By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com
A few years ago, I was just about to finish an advanced training of one of my favorite techniques, Theta Healing. The Theta Healing technique is based on simple principles. You shift your consciousness into a theta brain wave, state and with your intention travel to the non-dualistic plane of the Creator Level, the 7th plane, and command a healing. Then Creator does the healing and the practitioner witnesses it. According to Vianna Stibal, the founder of Theta Healing, changes are much more likely to occur when in a theta brain wave. If a healing doesn’t work, you start digging for undermining core beliefs, releasing and replacing them.
The group of 10 or so practitioners at this training was particularly good. We were very cohesive and got along well. At the end of the weekend, a woman with cancer came in for a group healing. She had been working with our teacher, Eric Brummet for a little while to clear belief patterns. But now she was in her last days. Her cancer was so widespread you could see it eating away at her tiny body. She had one lung removed and one barely functioning. The right side of her body had all but collapsed, her breathing was labored and she could barely speak. She had already bought her cremation plot. My heart went out to her, and I could feel that despite her condition, she was totally open. When asked if she were ready to receive the healing, she answered with gratitude, “Yes, I am so appreciative of you doing this for me. It means so much. Thank you.”
The group’s intention was solid. Our only job was to hold a state of love in a theta frequency on the 7th plane, and Eric would command that a healing be done on her. We could all feel the intensity of this healing, something special was happening. In the center of the circle, our client completely surrendered. As he commanded the healing, all of us witnessed a clear picture of the cancer energy leaving her. We could feel it in our own cells. After Creator was done healing, which was maybe after a few minutes, she opened her tear filled eyes. Thanking us, she stood up easily for the first time in months. Overwhelmed with emotion she was almost at a loss for words. She told us that she thought the cancer left and that she felt much better. Gratitude overcame her as she continued to thank us profusely. She was breathing, talking and standing with ease. Our hearts were bursting. A few weeks later, it was confirmed by her doctor that she was cancer free.
We did a few group healings like that, but none had those same results. Why did she get the instant healing and not the others?
SURRENDER
We have all heard this word so much it’s a cliché. But it really should be taught with its shady companion, Betrayal! Surrender and Betrayal go hand and hand, and working with awareness of these complimentary forces can help the ups and downs of it all.
In the early stages of learning surrender we imagine throwing all caution to the wind, letting go and letting God! Many of us approach our toughest challenges in this way, surrendering to the divine plan (so we think) only to have it totally blow up in our faces, time and time again. “But I surrendered, I did exactly the right thing!” Really, a lot of the time that we think we are surrendering, we are actually avoiding responsibility. We aren’t letting go, we just don’t want to deal with the mess we’ve made, and we don’t know how. Within that avoidance is usually deeper issues that are living in our subconscious, shadowed, only to show themselves at critical moments. Somehow you find yourself in the same mess, over and over, betrayed by life again.
A good example of that would be an addict before they enter recovery. Throwing caution to the wind will only lead them right back to their addiction. An addict who is in recovery knows that surrendering to a higher power is part of the healing process. They admit they don’t know how to fix things, but are willing to learn. An addict also knows that for a long time, a complete reprogramming needs to be done sometimes involving extreme control and responsibility. For the over eater, they must control their diet; for the alcoholic they must control where they hang out and who they hang with; for the love addict, they must take control of their emotions and bodies. This intense reprogramming must go on for some time before they are ready to let go a little. The addict is a great example of learning a deeper kind of surrender.
The next phase of surrender is when you throw yourself into the learning process, unafraid to take responsibility. You really do all the right things. You go to therapy or your healer, do all the steps according to the manifesting book you bought, surrender and still, it blows up in your face. This is where a little thing called Karma, Heritage, Family Template, or Early Childhood Wounding can screw you. The energy they hold can be stronger than your positive intention, especially if they are shadowed. These kinds of core issues can take more work than expected to shift. You may think that you have done the work, that you processed your issues, you are cleared of it, and find that just when you think its safe to let go again, BOOM, the unthinkable happens. You are back in debt, your third wife left you, guess what? There was still more to learn. This can be particularly difficult and is often times experienced as a deep betrayal by God and Self. Doubt, anger, resentment and fear linger, and yet also fuel the deeper learning.
Of course there are life events that really blindside you, with no forewarning, like sudden deaths to a child or spouse. The death of a child from what I have seen, is a pain that a parent will walk with for the rest of their life. With these events, it is possible that your Higher Self and Guide team wanted you to learn something, so you agreed beforehand to allow it. This can really incite anger and the feeling of betrayal, especially since you don’t remember making any such agreement. And so you think, how could it be safe to surrender and let go when that kind of pain is a possibility? The fear reaction here is to begin to control everything to prevent more pain, but that is not an appropriate response for this kind of betrayal. What is called for here is not control, but grieving and letting go.
Many young initiates who have tapped in to Creator’s flow, feeling unbridled joy in their hearts, have unexpected traumatic events happen to mature them into the next level. This “loss of innocence” is the first of many spiritual deaths they will have.
So as you can see Surrender and Betrayal go together. If we know that, than we can in some ways expect that some form of betrayal could happen. However, instead of using this information to fuel our protective control systems, we can use it to go to the underlying vibration of surrender, which is acceptance.
True surrender happens at a very deep and very conscious level. True surrender usually happens after we’ve been kicked in the ass a lot. It is intimately interwoven with the wisdom you gain through experience. The more you learn about a painful shadow piece within yourself or even within the world, the safer you are to surrender. You have accepted something painful as a part of life, you know and trust yourself more, so it’s not as scary or unfair. It now holds less emotional and energetic charge, therefore, you wont attract it as much. Not only that, it wont be as big of a deal when it does happen.
I once channeled this very powerful meditation during an extraordinary difficult time. I had opened my heart and was betrayed, but I desperately wanted to stay open. I could feel my heart shutting down, broken in pain. I was begging my guides to give me something to ease the pain.
They instructed me to center myself in my heart and opened my heart chakra, front and back. I imagined the two vortexes spinning rosy pink, taking in love. I let the love hit the painful spots in my heart. Then my guides said, “Now imagine an arrow being shot into your heart.” Seriously? But I went ahead with it and noticed that the arrow went right through the space that was created in my open heart, and out the back. Like it was shot through a hollow tube, carrying the current of love. It was so simple. Did it hurt? A little, but not for long.
True surrender happens when our capacity for love is able to hold the pain of betrayal with a deeply trustful relationship with Self and Divine. True surrender, like the kind our healed cancer client had, can be felt in your cells. Who knows the whole process that brought her to that moment, but you can bet it wasn’t easy. True surrender that day meant she would live. On another day it could have been that she transitioned. True surrender brings you so close to the Divine that you can decide to forgive, and choose your life over and over again.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
www.treadwayesoteric.com
A few years ago, I was just about to finish an advanced training of one of my favorite techniques, Theta Healing. The Theta Healing technique is based on simple principles. You shift your consciousness into a theta brain wave, state and with your intention travel to the non-dualistic plane of the Creator Level, the 7th plane, and command a healing. Then Creator does the healing and the practitioner witnesses it. According to Vianna Stibal, the founder of Theta Healing, changes are much more likely to occur when in a theta brain wave. If a healing doesn’t work, you start digging for undermining core beliefs, releasing and replacing them.
The group of 10 or so practitioners at this training was particularly good. We were very cohesive and got along well. At the end of the weekend, a woman with cancer came in for a group healing. She had been working with our teacher, Eric Brummet for a little while to clear belief patterns. But now she was in her last days. Her cancer was so widespread you could see it eating away at her tiny body. She had one lung removed and one barely functioning. The right side of her body had all but collapsed, her breathing was labored and she could barely speak. She had already bought her cremation plot. My heart went out to her, and I could feel that despite her condition, she was totally open. When asked if she were ready to receive the healing, she answered with gratitude, “Yes, I am so appreciative of you doing this for me. It means so much. Thank you.”
The group’s intention was solid. Our only job was to hold a state of love in a theta frequency on the 7th plane, and Eric would command that a healing be done on her. We could all feel the intensity of this healing, something special was happening. In the center of the circle, our client completely surrendered. As he commanded the healing, all of us witnessed a clear picture of the cancer energy leaving her. We could feel it in our own cells. After Creator was done healing, which was maybe after a few minutes, she opened her tear filled eyes. Thanking us, she stood up easily for the first time in months. Overwhelmed with emotion she was almost at a loss for words. She told us that she thought the cancer left and that she felt much better. Gratitude overcame her as she continued to thank us profusely. She was breathing, talking and standing with ease. Our hearts were bursting. A few weeks later, it was confirmed by her doctor that she was cancer free.
We did a few group healings like that, but none had those same results. Why did she get the instant healing and not the others?
SURRENDER
We have all heard this word so much it’s a cliché. But it really should be taught with its shady companion, Betrayal! Surrender and Betrayal go hand and hand, and working with awareness of these complimentary forces can help the ups and downs of it all.
In the early stages of learning surrender we imagine throwing all caution to the wind, letting go and letting God! Many of us approach our toughest challenges in this way, surrendering to the divine plan (so we think) only to have it totally blow up in our faces, time and time again. “But I surrendered, I did exactly the right thing!” Really, a lot of the time that we think we are surrendering, we are actually avoiding responsibility. We aren’t letting go, we just don’t want to deal with the mess we’ve made, and we don’t know how. Within that avoidance is usually deeper issues that are living in our subconscious, shadowed, only to show themselves at critical moments. Somehow you find yourself in the same mess, over and over, betrayed by life again.
A good example of that would be an addict before they enter recovery. Throwing caution to the wind will only lead them right back to their addiction. An addict who is in recovery knows that surrendering to a higher power is part of the healing process. They admit they don’t know how to fix things, but are willing to learn. An addict also knows that for a long time, a complete reprogramming needs to be done sometimes involving extreme control and responsibility. For the over eater, they must control their diet; for the alcoholic they must control where they hang out and who they hang with; for the love addict, they must take control of their emotions and bodies. This intense reprogramming must go on for some time before they are ready to let go a little. The addict is a great example of learning a deeper kind of surrender.
The next phase of surrender is when you throw yourself into the learning process, unafraid to take responsibility. You really do all the right things. You go to therapy or your healer, do all the steps according to the manifesting book you bought, surrender and still, it blows up in your face. This is where a little thing called Karma, Heritage, Family Template, or Early Childhood Wounding can screw you. The energy they hold can be stronger than your positive intention, especially if they are shadowed. These kinds of core issues can take more work than expected to shift. You may think that you have done the work, that you processed your issues, you are cleared of it, and find that just when you think its safe to let go again, BOOM, the unthinkable happens. You are back in debt, your third wife left you, guess what? There was still more to learn. This can be particularly difficult and is often times experienced as a deep betrayal by God and Self. Doubt, anger, resentment and fear linger, and yet also fuel the deeper learning.
Of course there are life events that really blindside you, with no forewarning, like sudden deaths to a child or spouse. The death of a child from what I have seen, is a pain that a parent will walk with for the rest of their life. With these events, it is possible that your Higher Self and Guide team wanted you to learn something, so you agreed beforehand to allow it. This can really incite anger and the feeling of betrayal, especially since you don’t remember making any such agreement. And so you think, how could it be safe to surrender and let go when that kind of pain is a possibility? The fear reaction here is to begin to control everything to prevent more pain, but that is not an appropriate response for this kind of betrayal. What is called for here is not control, but grieving and letting go.
Many young initiates who have tapped in to Creator’s flow, feeling unbridled joy in their hearts, have unexpected traumatic events happen to mature them into the next level. This “loss of innocence” is the first of many spiritual deaths they will have.
So as you can see Surrender and Betrayal go together. If we know that, than we can in some ways expect that some form of betrayal could happen. However, instead of using this information to fuel our protective control systems, we can use it to go to the underlying vibration of surrender, which is acceptance.
True surrender happens at a very deep and very conscious level. True surrender usually happens after we’ve been kicked in the ass a lot. It is intimately interwoven with the wisdom you gain through experience. The more you learn about a painful shadow piece within yourself or even within the world, the safer you are to surrender. You have accepted something painful as a part of life, you know and trust yourself more, so it’s not as scary or unfair. It now holds less emotional and energetic charge, therefore, you wont attract it as much. Not only that, it wont be as big of a deal when it does happen.
I once channeled this very powerful meditation during an extraordinary difficult time. I had opened my heart and was betrayed, but I desperately wanted to stay open. I could feel my heart shutting down, broken in pain. I was begging my guides to give me something to ease the pain.
They instructed me to center myself in my heart and opened my heart chakra, front and back. I imagined the two vortexes spinning rosy pink, taking in love. I let the love hit the painful spots in my heart. Then my guides said, “Now imagine an arrow being shot into your heart.” Seriously? But I went ahead with it and noticed that the arrow went right through the space that was created in my open heart, and out the back. Like it was shot through a hollow tube, carrying the current of love. It was so simple. Did it hurt? A little, but not for long.
True surrender happens when our capacity for love is able to hold the pain of betrayal with a deeply trustful relationship with Self and Divine. True surrender, like the kind our healed cancer client had, can be felt in your cells. Who knows the whole process that brought her to that moment, but you can bet it wasn’t easy. True surrender that day meant she would live. On another day it could have been that she transitioned. True surrender brings you so close to the Divine that you can decide to forgive, and choose your life over and over again.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
The Healing Process
By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com
I am always struck in my own process, how is it possible to still be challenged by an issue I thought I had cleared years ago? I notice the same pattern in my friends, colleagues and clients. Why does this continually mystify us? What are some of the misconceptions about the healing process that continually leave us bewildered by life?
There are many misconceptions about healing. The biggest one is that there is a destination get to, and that destination, which should hopefully only take one or a few sessions to get to, is the perfect life experience of which we always dreamed, or perhaps being the perfect person, totally happy and fulfilled. The reality is that healing is a maturation process involving other dimensions with no guaranteed results. If there were a goal, it might be acceptance of the way things are, detachment from the way things should be, and a continuous connection to Source. However, in the human experience and I believe the experience of an ever evolving universe, with your perspective constantly shifting, the ability to accept and detach and connect is constantly challenged with the soul’s desire to experience and create more variations of life. The perfect life we had dreamed of that we might have even achieved is usually based on a set of desires, gifts and woundings that will take on a different form once the new vantage point is reached.
What do you mean woundings?? Your wound is your gift. This is the concept and experience that was taught to me at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing (BBSH), although I did not really understand it until after I graduated. First of all, the whole concept of “the wound” was elusive. What were they talking about? My first experience that I may have “the wound” occurred sometime at the end of first year where we had to bring in a picture of ourselves as a child. I remember looking at that picture of the child and I began to cry uncontrollably (this is a typical experience at BBSH). I couldn’t explain it. I just missed that child so much.
How is the perceived abandonment and separation from Source/God/Creator reflected in your personal life experience, and how does that inspire and fuel you to develop and bring forth your unique gift into the world, ultimately reuniting you with Source energy? What makes you ask, “Why God, WHYYYYY!!” And then what makes you do something about it?
For example, if during a few years of your childhood, you lived in a country at war and experienced bombings on a regular basis, you know that much of the reason you may desire to live in a peaceful and calm environment is due to this early life experience. As you heal that wound, your desires for how you want to live will shift. After some time of rest, you may decide you are bored and want to make a bigger difference. Fueled by your life experience, you forge a career in assisting children during times of war. This would be a life choice directly based on your wound. Your gift that was received as a result of this wound will flourish and be bravely brought into the world.
Learning how to face and deal with your pain is one of the most important lessons of the healing process, perhaps life itself. I recently had the pleasure of holding and spending time with a newborn baby. This baby is a lucky kid, because he has two of the best parents an infant could have. His mother is my oldest friend, whom I have known for almost 30 years. When we first met we were just a little bigger than her son is now! This friend of mine is very special, she was born in a state of unconditional love and stayed there. No therapy or healing, I swear. She has been a big teacher for me as I have sought so desperately the quality she seems to possess without effort.
I think somewhere in the back of my psyche, I had the belief that if the parents did everything right; the baby would never feel any pain. (Yes, it’s obvious I haven’t had a child yet!) What I witnessed with my friend’s baby, however, was that it went from peaceful to crying in an instant, and I could see that the parents were doing everything right, it was totally unavoidable that this baby would feel pain. When the baby cried, the parents scrambled to find what it needed, which was either holding, feeding or diaper changing. When they found what the baby needed, the baby was peaceful once again. I was literally watching the life process unfold before my eyes. What a teaching. It dawned on me, “Oh, we’re supposed to get upset, phew!” It’s never perfect in the way that we imagine. We go from peaceful, to anxious and upset, to figuring out what we need, to peaceful and happy once again.
I think we all spend a lot of energy trying not to get upset, but if our tears are used properly it’s a one-way ticket to figuring out what our needs are. So the idea that we have to heal so that we can never feel pain again is an illusion, perhaps the biggest illusion of all. I truly believe that healing involves being able to accept the life process, pain and all and have the courage to feel it and make good choices to meet our needs. This is what my teacher, Barbara Brennan and her staff, taught so exquisitely.
Another misconception is that once you heal an issue, and I’m talking a core wounding issue, not a physical injury or disease, that it never is a problem again. I’m sure there are exceptions but I have not yet seen one. Even those that claim instant healing, walk in souls, reincarnating in your own body, etc., still have a core wounding. They may be out of the wheelchair or cancer free, but they are still human. As you go around the spiral of life, you will be hit with that core issue again and again, each time deepening your understanding of yourself, how you operate and how that wound is the ticket to your greatest gift in the world. The core wound based issues are directly linked to your individuated divine spark. That is the uniqueness of who you are. Does that mean you will be plagued by painful memories of sexual abuse for the rest of your life? Absolutely not, but it could mean that you have to work with understanding and creating healthy boundaries for a long time.
Lets say, 20 years into your journey you decide to start a new business. As you hit the point of the spiral of life where that wounding activates, you may find that you are unable to create healthy boundaries about money. You know that boundaries and self worth are core issues related to the sexual abuse, so with that awareness, you take your healing process into a deeper understanding of boundaries. You strengthen your self-respect; get in touch with your true needs, which allows you to feel the sweet core of who you are. You have grown and matured and this allows you to expand your business farther than you ever thought possible. You have transmuted the issue, but the sweet core of who you are, mixed with your desire to bring forth your gift to world is Divine Reconnection. And it will bring tears.
My own core wounding pops up pretty regularly. Without going deeply into circumstances or early childhood psychology, it’s related to my parent’s divorce, and I can experience extreme abandonment and isolation. Of course, I always think that I have totally nipped it in the bud. While I no longer am upset about the divorce, I can feel a deepening around what this wound brings up for me. Several months ago, I did a soul retrieval to explore the origins of this abandonment wound, to see if there was more information I could get from other lifetimes:
I journeyed back to the source of abandonment. I found myself in a cliff dwelling community in the southwest, but it was deserted. I couldn’t understand why it was deserted and thought I must not be clear. But I saw my guide sitting down with a smile on her face and she encouraged me to keep going. I traveled down the cliffs to the bottom of the river where I saw a fragment of my soul staring at disbelief at her dead body. The emotions of the scene were strong. I knew I had jumped. What could have led me to such a decision?
As I channeled the experience through, I was witness to one of the most beautiful lifetimes I had ever revisited. Never before had another lifetime been so completely lucid, as if it were happening now. Born into a good, solid family, I was loved and cared for. I easily developed self-confidence and as I matured, became known for my ability with crafts and beadwork. It was a fulfilling life. At the time of womanhood, many men were my suitors, but I waited until I felt the best man arrived, married him and had three children. Juggling family life and my craft was only made possible by the support of family and the community, the strength and safety of it. I learned through these experiences that I could depend on others when I needed, and I deeply loved them for it.
My children were still toddlers when the droughts came. It was clear that we had to move to a new location, however, there was indecision about where everyone would go. People were choosing to split and go in different directions for survival. Having never dealt with serious emotional stress, I was at a loss to handle this. I couldn’t bear the idea of my life falling apart in this way, of losing my identity, my community, those I counted on, and of having such struggle and unknown before me. I was petrified. As people packed up, my fear overwhelmed me. In a moment of delirium, I flung myself off the cliff. Instantly I filled with regret as I fell into the black hole of my decision, dying in the shallow river.
I began to dialogue with the paralyzed soul fragment, still in shock at the bottom of the river. She told me of her grief, her guilt at abandoning her family. How she didn’t deserve them, how weak she was. I also learned of the decision to never be dependent on anyone again, to avoid such rash actions. I cried with her as the healing process began. After completing the soul retrieval, I could feel my beloved family close with me. I had missed them so much. I apologized to them over and over. Could they ever forgive me? There have been many times in this current lifetime where I felt like I was falling into a black hole of isolation and loneliness, whether I was abandoned, or I abandoned, I have had to face, over and over again, how to catch myself in this free fall, how to feel the pain of loss, heal and move forward into something new. The breakdown of my nuclear family that left me no ground to stand on triggered “the wound” of feeling separate from Source, and from the Human Family so I began to isolate, making sure I was not dependent on anyone, recreating my karmic story. My biggest challenge has been giving up isolation and independence so I can come into community again. What are the main issues my clients come to work on with me? Abandonment of course! Heartbreak of course! Coming into healthy community of course! I love it and it continually challenges me to heal.
After the emotional intensity of the soul retrieval dissipated, life carried on with more beauty and connection. I had reached a healthy balance in my work and play life, was surrounded by great friends and opportunity was knocking at every door. I was happy.
In June I went to Living in the Heart workshop in Sedona and stayed with my spiritual parents and mentors, Barry and Cynthia Kapp of Wisdom of the Earth Medicinal Aromatherapy (www.wisdomoftheearth.com). I connected with Barry and Cynthia when we went to Guatemala and Easter Island with Drunvalo. Cynthia and I instantly bonded. She is a sassy New Yorker like myself and it’s relaxing for me to have someone to be loud and sarcastic with on these spiritual trips! These two beings were such bright lights it felt like there was a tractor beam connecting me to them. Not to mention they always smelled fabulous from all the essences. Like a lost child I followed them around everywhere. Even when I tried to stop following them I couldn’t. It wasn’t long before they were referring to me as their daughter. Since Guatemala, they have literally taken me into their family and begun filling the gaps in my childhood.
The experience in Sedona was intense. I was surrounded with community in a far deeper and richer way than I had ever experienced. I had a cathartic experience at Drunvalo’s workshop, several of my beloved BBSH friends were with me, being so close to nature filled my soul and staying with my spiritual parents proved to be the most healing experience of all. I think I relaxed for the first time. I felt no pressure to succeed like I always feel in New York. Cynthia constantly smothered me with love and medicinal essences. Barry, with seven daughters of his own, has the Dad thing down. He even asked that I move out to Sedona because he was worried about me in Manhattan. Although it touched my heart, I laughed at him, because after all, I’m a big girl, New York is my home, my root, and my rock and if I was really meant to move, I would be given a big sign. But by the end of the trip I was dreading returning home to my empty little apartment and over achiever life. When it was time to go, Barry took me aside, opened his heart and told me all of my wonderful qualities. I teared up and inhaled this gift; it meant the world to me. Major dad healing. While I loved my life in NY, I had to admit this was better.
When I arrived in New York, I didn’t have the heart to put up the Manhattan energy protection filter, I was so relaxed. But when I walked down the street almost every other person began talking to me, offering me everything from death threats to marriage proposals. I was a little shocked. Being that open was hazardous. Several people even thought I was a tourist and tried to scam me- that had never happened to me. My God, how much had changed in ten days? I could feel all the tension of city life in a way I never had. After a week spent mostly hiding in my apartment, I surrendered and brought my field back in, reinforcing the boundary. No more death threats, although I still enjoy the occasional marriage proposal. Why tune those out?
Over the weeks I noticed that I was experiencing difficulty sleeping, heart palpitations, shortness of breath and numbness in my arms. The problem escalated until one weekend I was completely overcome by fear, and at the insistence of my Dad (biological), I went to the emergency room. I was in a total state of panic. I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to the emergency room near Chinatown. Tears were rolling down my face as I felt underneath this fear a desperate, infant need to be held and loved. The care in my Dad’s voice felt so good. I hadn’t heard that in so long. I was so confused because I had more support in my life than ever. I mean I thought I had healed that! But still there was more I longed for, much more. The need to be back in harmonious community, in nature and cared for was a force welling up inside me that I had never allowed myself to fully feel.
After a totally normal EKG, the doctor came in and said, “You have anxiety.” I was surprised, I mean, I live a balanced life, meditate, do yoga and am a healer for crying out loud, I would know if I had anxiety. I told him he must be mistaken. He then asked me what I did for a living, I said, “I am a therapist of sorts, a healer.” He said, “Oh, yes, of course,” as if he sees this all the time, “I think then, what you need is more care.” Oh, more tears flowed, he knew!! It was that obvious, I wasn’t fooling anyone. He said, “Who is taking care of you?” I paused, “No one,” getting more worked up. Why God, WHYYYYY?
It was petrifying to be in that hospital, all alone. I didn’t ask anyone to come because everyone is so busy and stressed in Manhattan I didn’t want to bother them. As I was covered with electrical equipment and hooked up to big machines, I felt myself free-falling into the black hole again. I silently screamed to the abyss, “I need more CARE!!” and something different happened as I cried these original tears of need. Instead of falling to the bottom of a river, or falling into the center of myself/Source like I had learned to do over the last five years (a good skill, by the way), I plummeted straight into the unconditional love web of my community. I could literally feel them catching me. Safe in this web of love, I allowed myself to fully relax into it and connect. I had done the work, allowed myself to fully feel the pain and the need and I wasn’t abandoned, I could feel the circle was completing, I was forgiven and I forgave myself. I was ready to come out of isolation and move back into community.
When I talked to Cynthia about it she said, “So, is that a big enough sign for you?” After a few days of recovery, and slathering myself in the essences she sent me, I put my apartment on the market without having any real plans of what I would do. “I don’t care anymore,” I said, “I’m done with this lifestyle. I hate living alone. I hate the pressure of paying a mortgage for a tiny apartment by myself. I need more care like Dr. Wang said!” Whatever was keeping me attached to New York dissolved. As word spread of my decision, I immediately had offers from friends around the country to take me in, and email support came from around the world. The most offers, including work, a place to live, friends, nature and spiritual parents, came from the Sedona area, suspiciously close to where I had taken the original leap into “the wound” in my cliff dwelling lifetime.
As I continue in the healing process, coming home deeper within myself, my longing and my community, I treasure not only the gifts that I will get to bring into the world as a result, but also all the gifts that have been offered to me in the process.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
www.treadwayesoteric.com
I am always struck in my own process, how is it possible to still be challenged by an issue I thought I had cleared years ago? I notice the same pattern in my friends, colleagues and clients. Why does this continually mystify us? What are some of the misconceptions about the healing process that continually leave us bewildered by life?
There are many misconceptions about healing. The biggest one is that there is a destination get to, and that destination, which should hopefully only take one or a few sessions to get to, is the perfect life experience of which we always dreamed, or perhaps being the perfect person, totally happy and fulfilled. The reality is that healing is a maturation process involving other dimensions with no guaranteed results. If there were a goal, it might be acceptance of the way things are, detachment from the way things should be, and a continuous connection to Source. However, in the human experience and I believe the experience of an ever evolving universe, with your perspective constantly shifting, the ability to accept and detach and connect is constantly challenged with the soul’s desire to experience and create more variations of life. The perfect life we had dreamed of that we might have even achieved is usually based on a set of desires, gifts and woundings that will take on a different form once the new vantage point is reached.
What do you mean woundings?? Your wound is your gift. This is the concept and experience that was taught to me at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing (BBSH), although I did not really understand it until after I graduated. First of all, the whole concept of “the wound” was elusive. What were they talking about? My first experience that I may have “the wound” occurred sometime at the end of first year where we had to bring in a picture of ourselves as a child. I remember looking at that picture of the child and I began to cry uncontrollably (this is a typical experience at BBSH). I couldn’t explain it. I just missed that child so much.
How is the perceived abandonment and separation from Source/God/Creator reflected in your personal life experience, and how does that inspire and fuel you to develop and bring forth your unique gift into the world, ultimately reuniting you with Source energy? What makes you ask, “Why God, WHYYYYY!!” And then what makes you do something about it?
For example, if during a few years of your childhood, you lived in a country at war and experienced bombings on a regular basis, you know that much of the reason you may desire to live in a peaceful and calm environment is due to this early life experience. As you heal that wound, your desires for how you want to live will shift. After some time of rest, you may decide you are bored and want to make a bigger difference. Fueled by your life experience, you forge a career in assisting children during times of war. This would be a life choice directly based on your wound. Your gift that was received as a result of this wound will flourish and be bravely brought into the world.
Learning how to face and deal with your pain is one of the most important lessons of the healing process, perhaps life itself. I recently had the pleasure of holding and spending time with a newborn baby. This baby is a lucky kid, because he has two of the best parents an infant could have. His mother is my oldest friend, whom I have known for almost 30 years. When we first met we were just a little bigger than her son is now! This friend of mine is very special, she was born in a state of unconditional love and stayed there. No therapy or healing, I swear. She has been a big teacher for me as I have sought so desperately the quality she seems to possess without effort.
I think somewhere in the back of my psyche, I had the belief that if the parents did everything right; the baby would never feel any pain. (Yes, it’s obvious I haven’t had a child yet!) What I witnessed with my friend’s baby, however, was that it went from peaceful to crying in an instant, and I could see that the parents were doing everything right, it was totally unavoidable that this baby would feel pain. When the baby cried, the parents scrambled to find what it needed, which was either holding, feeding or diaper changing. When they found what the baby needed, the baby was peaceful once again. I was literally watching the life process unfold before my eyes. What a teaching. It dawned on me, “Oh, we’re supposed to get upset, phew!” It’s never perfect in the way that we imagine. We go from peaceful, to anxious and upset, to figuring out what we need, to peaceful and happy once again.
I think we all spend a lot of energy trying not to get upset, but if our tears are used properly it’s a one-way ticket to figuring out what our needs are. So the idea that we have to heal so that we can never feel pain again is an illusion, perhaps the biggest illusion of all. I truly believe that healing involves being able to accept the life process, pain and all and have the courage to feel it and make good choices to meet our needs. This is what my teacher, Barbara Brennan and her staff, taught so exquisitely.
Another misconception is that once you heal an issue, and I’m talking a core wounding issue, not a physical injury or disease, that it never is a problem again. I’m sure there are exceptions but I have not yet seen one. Even those that claim instant healing, walk in souls, reincarnating in your own body, etc., still have a core wounding. They may be out of the wheelchair or cancer free, but they are still human. As you go around the spiral of life, you will be hit with that core issue again and again, each time deepening your understanding of yourself, how you operate and how that wound is the ticket to your greatest gift in the world. The core wound based issues are directly linked to your individuated divine spark. That is the uniqueness of who you are. Does that mean you will be plagued by painful memories of sexual abuse for the rest of your life? Absolutely not, but it could mean that you have to work with understanding and creating healthy boundaries for a long time.
Lets say, 20 years into your journey you decide to start a new business. As you hit the point of the spiral of life where that wounding activates, you may find that you are unable to create healthy boundaries about money. You know that boundaries and self worth are core issues related to the sexual abuse, so with that awareness, you take your healing process into a deeper understanding of boundaries. You strengthen your self-respect; get in touch with your true needs, which allows you to feel the sweet core of who you are. You have grown and matured and this allows you to expand your business farther than you ever thought possible. You have transmuted the issue, but the sweet core of who you are, mixed with your desire to bring forth your gift to world is Divine Reconnection. And it will bring tears.
My own core wounding pops up pretty regularly. Without going deeply into circumstances or early childhood psychology, it’s related to my parent’s divorce, and I can experience extreme abandonment and isolation. Of course, I always think that I have totally nipped it in the bud. While I no longer am upset about the divorce, I can feel a deepening around what this wound brings up for me. Several months ago, I did a soul retrieval to explore the origins of this abandonment wound, to see if there was more information I could get from other lifetimes:
I journeyed back to the source of abandonment. I found myself in a cliff dwelling community in the southwest, but it was deserted. I couldn’t understand why it was deserted and thought I must not be clear. But I saw my guide sitting down with a smile on her face and she encouraged me to keep going. I traveled down the cliffs to the bottom of the river where I saw a fragment of my soul staring at disbelief at her dead body. The emotions of the scene were strong. I knew I had jumped. What could have led me to such a decision?
As I channeled the experience through, I was witness to one of the most beautiful lifetimes I had ever revisited. Never before had another lifetime been so completely lucid, as if it were happening now. Born into a good, solid family, I was loved and cared for. I easily developed self-confidence and as I matured, became known for my ability with crafts and beadwork. It was a fulfilling life. At the time of womanhood, many men were my suitors, but I waited until I felt the best man arrived, married him and had three children. Juggling family life and my craft was only made possible by the support of family and the community, the strength and safety of it. I learned through these experiences that I could depend on others when I needed, and I deeply loved them for it.
My children were still toddlers when the droughts came. It was clear that we had to move to a new location, however, there was indecision about where everyone would go. People were choosing to split and go in different directions for survival. Having never dealt with serious emotional stress, I was at a loss to handle this. I couldn’t bear the idea of my life falling apart in this way, of losing my identity, my community, those I counted on, and of having such struggle and unknown before me. I was petrified. As people packed up, my fear overwhelmed me. In a moment of delirium, I flung myself off the cliff. Instantly I filled with regret as I fell into the black hole of my decision, dying in the shallow river.
I began to dialogue with the paralyzed soul fragment, still in shock at the bottom of the river. She told me of her grief, her guilt at abandoning her family. How she didn’t deserve them, how weak she was. I also learned of the decision to never be dependent on anyone again, to avoid such rash actions. I cried with her as the healing process began. After completing the soul retrieval, I could feel my beloved family close with me. I had missed them so much. I apologized to them over and over. Could they ever forgive me? There have been many times in this current lifetime where I felt like I was falling into a black hole of isolation and loneliness, whether I was abandoned, or I abandoned, I have had to face, over and over again, how to catch myself in this free fall, how to feel the pain of loss, heal and move forward into something new. The breakdown of my nuclear family that left me no ground to stand on triggered “the wound” of feeling separate from Source, and from the Human Family so I began to isolate, making sure I was not dependent on anyone, recreating my karmic story. My biggest challenge has been giving up isolation and independence so I can come into community again. What are the main issues my clients come to work on with me? Abandonment of course! Heartbreak of course! Coming into healthy community of course! I love it and it continually challenges me to heal.
After the emotional intensity of the soul retrieval dissipated, life carried on with more beauty and connection. I had reached a healthy balance in my work and play life, was surrounded by great friends and opportunity was knocking at every door. I was happy.
In June I went to Living in the Heart workshop in Sedona and stayed with my spiritual parents and mentors, Barry and Cynthia Kapp of Wisdom of the Earth Medicinal Aromatherapy (www.wisdomoftheearth.com). I connected with Barry and Cynthia when we went to Guatemala and Easter Island with Drunvalo. Cynthia and I instantly bonded. She is a sassy New Yorker like myself and it’s relaxing for me to have someone to be loud and sarcastic with on these spiritual trips! These two beings were such bright lights it felt like there was a tractor beam connecting me to them. Not to mention they always smelled fabulous from all the essences. Like a lost child I followed them around everywhere. Even when I tried to stop following them I couldn’t. It wasn’t long before they were referring to me as their daughter. Since Guatemala, they have literally taken me into their family and begun filling the gaps in my childhood.
The experience in Sedona was intense. I was surrounded with community in a far deeper and richer way than I had ever experienced. I had a cathartic experience at Drunvalo’s workshop, several of my beloved BBSH friends were with me, being so close to nature filled my soul and staying with my spiritual parents proved to be the most healing experience of all. I think I relaxed for the first time. I felt no pressure to succeed like I always feel in New York. Cynthia constantly smothered me with love and medicinal essences. Barry, with seven daughters of his own, has the Dad thing down. He even asked that I move out to Sedona because he was worried about me in Manhattan. Although it touched my heart, I laughed at him, because after all, I’m a big girl, New York is my home, my root, and my rock and if I was really meant to move, I would be given a big sign. But by the end of the trip I was dreading returning home to my empty little apartment and over achiever life. When it was time to go, Barry took me aside, opened his heart and told me all of my wonderful qualities. I teared up and inhaled this gift; it meant the world to me. Major dad healing. While I loved my life in NY, I had to admit this was better.
When I arrived in New York, I didn’t have the heart to put up the Manhattan energy protection filter, I was so relaxed. But when I walked down the street almost every other person began talking to me, offering me everything from death threats to marriage proposals. I was a little shocked. Being that open was hazardous. Several people even thought I was a tourist and tried to scam me- that had never happened to me. My God, how much had changed in ten days? I could feel all the tension of city life in a way I never had. After a week spent mostly hiding in my apartment, I surrendered and brought my field back in, reinforcing the boundary. No more death threats, although I still enjoy the occasional marriage proposal. Why tune those out?
Over the weeks I noticed that I was experiencing difficulty sleeping, heart palpitations, shortness of breath and numbness in my arms. The problem escalated until one weekend I was completely overcome by fear, and at the insistence of my Dad (biological), I went to the emergency room. I was in a total state of panic. I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to the emergency room near Chinatown. Tears were rolling down my face as I felt underneath this fear a desperate, infant need to be held and loved. The care in my Dad’s voice felt so good. I hadn’t heard that in so long. I was so confused because I had more support in my life than ever. I mean I thought I had healed that! But still there was more I longed for, much more. The need to be back in harmonious community, in nature and cared for was a force welling up inside me that I had never allowed myself to fully feel.
After a totally normal EKG, the doctor came in and said, “You have anxiety.” I was surprised, I mean, I live a balanced life, meditate, do yoga and am a healer for crying out loud, I would know if I had anxiety. I told him he must be mistaken. He then asked me what I did for a living, I said, “I am a therapist of sorts, a healer.” He said, “Oh, yes, of course,” as if he sees this all the time, “I think then, what you need is more care.” Oh, more tears flowed, he knew!! It was that obvious, I wasn’t fooling anyone. He said, “Who is taking care of you?” I paused, “No one,” getting more worked up. Why God, WHYYYYY?
It was petrifying to be in that hospital, all alone. I didn’t ask anyone to come because everyone is so busy and stressed in Manhattan I didn’t want to bother them. As I was covered with electrical equipment and hooked up to big machines, I felt myself free-falling into the black hole again. I silently screamed to the abyss, “I need more CARE!!” and something different happened as I cried these original tears of need. Instead of falling to the bottom of a river, or falling into the center of myself/Source like I had learned to do over the last five years (a good skill, by the way), I plummeted straight into the unconditional love web of my community. I could literally feel them catching me. Safe in this web of love, I allowed myself to fully relax into it and connect. I had done the work, allowed myself to fully feel the pain and the need and I wasn’t abandoned, I could feel the circle was completing, I was forgiven and I forgave myself. I was ready to come out of isolation and move back into community.
When I talked to Cynthia about it she said, “So, is that a big enough sign for you?” After a few days of recovery, and slathering myself in the essences she sent me, I put my apartment on the market without having any real plans of what I would do. “I don’t care anymore,” I said, “I’m done with this lifestyle. I hate living alone. I hate the pressure of paying a mortgage for a tiny apartment by myself. I need more care like Dr. Wang said!” Whatever was keeping me attached to New York dissolved. As word spread of my decision, I immediately had offers from friends around the country to take me in, and email support came from around the world. The most offers, including work, a place to live, friends, nature and spiritual parents, came from the Sedona area, suspiciously close to where I had taken the original leap into “the wound” in my cliff dwelling lifetime.
As I continue in the healing process, coming home deeper within myself, my longing and my community, I treasure not only the gifts that I will get to bring into the world as a result, but also all the gifts that have been offered to me in the process.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
Finding My Indigenous Roots
By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com
What helps you connect to being human on Earth? It is not just about the stars from which you came, but the land, the traditions and the race that runs through your DNA. As most light workers understand, it is not about becoming so filled with light that you leave Earth (finally), it is about connecting so deeply with Source, Self and Earth so that you are a bridge between Father Sky and Mother Earth. That bridge, you, heals and loves the Earth, as it welcomes her into a space of more peace, more love and more joy. We as humans are necessary for Earth’s ascension into her next stage of growth because we are a beloved part of her. As a child of Mother Earth and Father Sky, we are at our best when we receive the love that is offered, and forgive what we think is wrong. We are at our best when we are the fullest expression of our unique Divine Spark. This is what good parents desire: Their children to be happy. This mission is embedded in all of us. And as we heal ourselves, living a life of Joy, we offer our ancestors healing seven generations back and seven forward. And so with that model, Mother Earth and Father Sky are evolving by our efforts. They love us profoundly for it, because any good parent could see that despite the difficult conditions here on Earth, we still dedicate ourselves to love. Knowing who you are as a human being, and loving being a human being is so crucial. While God, Spirit, Creator is always available, our spiritual lineages and ancestry keep our Divine connection grounded in our humanity.
This April, a historic gathering, Return of the Ancestors (www.earthworksforhumanity.org) will take place in northern Arizona. Elders from all over the world will gather in ceremony for the re-union of indigenous wisdom, and for world harmony. As I looked at the guest list, I couldn’t help but notice that there was very little representation from the Indigenous Caucasian tradition. I know what you are thinking, what is the Indigenous Caucasian tradition? Well, I’d like to know too.
As a little girl, I spent most of my time in our yard, which backed up into the woods. I had favorite trees, played with fairies and journeyed with my imagination to parallel worlds and magical lands. I could spend hours out there. The time after a rain was one of my favorites and I would stare, mesmerized at the dew on the leaves. Puddles of water collected at the roots of the trees, forming pools that my pixie friends would swim in. I dreamed of kingdoms and unicorns, making potions from nature and miraculously healing people with my energy that ran through my hands. This was a natural spiritual process that welled up inside me, but no context in the modern world with which to express it. This was my secret world and I never discussed it. My mother was very spiritual, and would have embraced my ideas, but having been unknowingly stripped of her magic, it wasn’t truly real to her either. Had I brought it up it would have been lovingly supported as make believe that she wished were true, and yet this was where I felt the most comfortable, the most real. With no context, I had an instinct to keep this magical world a secret, and it remained that way for a very long time. Many spiritual people have had this experience; I know I am not unique.
I grew up in a predominantly reformed Jewish neighborhood in Westchester County, New York. There were a lot of bagels, Bar Mitzvahs and very high SAT scores. There were a few other Episcopalians, but Christianity was not a culture that directed our lives. In general church was a pleasant experience and I loved the choir music. However I rejected the dogmatic approach to Christianity at an early age, and my natural pagan roots were somewhat supported by my mother who would tell me stories of how Christianity was really created by the Roman Empire for political reasons, that the time we celebrate Christmas was actually adapted from the pagan solstice celebration and that Jesus was actually born some time in the spring or summer (recently scientifically proven by astronomy). Past lives and reincarnation were often talked about and I was constantly reminded that I chose her as a mother whenever we would argue! We were frequent guests at the A.R.E. center, founded by the sleeping prophet, Edgar Cayce. The greatest gift my mother ever gave me was of exposing me to this and encouraging my spirituality.
As a teenager, I felt tremendous callings towards Native Americans. I even did an independent study on the subject as a senior in high school. I didn’t want to be just another hippie co-opting native tradition, but it seemed the best example for what I was experiencing in my heart and soul. I felt so much grief over the destruction of these great cultures. But what of the indigenous roots of Caucasians? I assumed there were none. I didn’t really see any around me, and while I felt an incredible pull towards the Celts, tales of Avalon were just that, tales from a long time ago, and I just didn’t connect my own European roots to the Celts. I thought it had all died and that hurt. I didn’t feel connected to the Wiccan tradition, and the Episcopalian church did not fill the longing for my indigenous roots, and I didn’t feel I had the right to claim any other race’s roots. I carried shame for my race, guilt in my genes. The guilty robe of the race that took out the Native Americans, enslaved the Africans massacred the Jews and on and on. It seemed the most white thing I could do was get a good job, make good money and set the table properly. While I was good at the latter, the former was kind of a bust. But this was my “heritage.” Then why, in my heart, did I wanted to live by the cycles of Nature, reuniting with Mother Earth, living by magic and creativity, swimming in the Mystery?
My freshman year of college I was confronted with this issue head on. There was a group for all minorities, but there was no group for me. And, had I wanted to put together a group, I could not have formed the “White American” group. That would have been a real “no no” and I really wouldn’t have known what do with it. And part of being white is not talking about the fact that you are white. I was told I didn’t need a group because the whole United States was my group. But I did need one, because I had no roots, I was ashamed of being white, and I had no idea what being Caucasian even meant.
Have the supremacists taken away our ability to connect to the innate gifts of being Caucasian, of being a human connected to the root of humanity, of Earth? I think that is one of the biggest cover-ups in history: The raping of the indigenous roots of Caucasians, tracing back at least to the Un-holy Roman Empire. Its not about race, its about stripping the Indigenous of their wisdom of all tribes, of all colors. Because the dominant race of people to conquer was/is white, all white people are at risk to assume that’s who they are too. But we all have had the rug pulled over our eyes. It is not only the Native American children who were taken off their land, sent to boarding school and forced to “convert” to being “white.” The Earth honoring clans of Europe had been slaughtered and converted long before. Our own public schools, in the United States, still do the same thing to our children today.
As I entered into the path of the healer and began doing ceremonies around the world, many indigenous people asked me, “What is your tradition? Where do you come from?” The only thing I knew is that I came from New York, the Stars, and before that Source, like everyone else. And I was American. But I couldn’t tell them about spiritual roots, heritage, ancestry, tradition, anything like that. I had no answers. Over the years I participated in more and more Indigenous ceremonies, trying to find the root, and slowly discovering the power of my own body and how it was connected to the Earth. But I watched with envy as the tribes called upon their ancestors during ceremony, connecting into some invisible strength that gave them more power. I didn’t think calling upon my own ancestors was such a great idea. They were Catholics and Protestants who went to church because they were supposed to. Anyway, my mission was to heal the trauma that had been carried down generation to generation, and frankly I thought they would just screw up the ceremony…then what would the Native Americans say?
At one gathering, and Apache elder spoke to the whites in the audience, he said, “Find your roots. You need it to get through 2012. They are in Europe. Go back and find yourselves so you can transition safely.” I wondered if he was on to something. Growing up there was absolutely no emphasis on roots. Part of being an American is not placing too much significance on your background. When my immigrant ancestors came over from Europe, they did whatever they could to assimilate, many times completely erasing all memory of their heritage.
Over the years I was given many clues to find my heritage, but there was a block within me, a pain so great at having lost the connection that getting it back meant facing the loss head on. This is a crucial thing to acknowledge. There is great pain in our disconnection from the Mother, and the only way back is by confronting it. It is also why so many are completely unable to do it.
A year ago, I asked my parents to write down the story of their families. My father really got excited and he wrote down all the scandals, secrets and lies as best he knew, breaking down my bloodline into 16ths. My dad is a great writer and has an uncanny knack for details and memory. I had heard bits and pieces of the story over the years, but seeing it all written down was like reading a mystery novel. While reading the story, I was only interested in learning about the Italian aspect of the family. I hoped that by being Italian, I might get some pigment in my skin. I kind of skipped over the other information. Treadway, my last name, is not actually a blood name. I wont go into details, but my last name should Cascio, from southern Italy. Due to “scandals,” we have no connection to that bloodline. My mother was able to tell me small details about my great grandfather while he was still in Italy. This was really exciting. His surname was Attanasio. It was hard for me to connect with the Italian line since I was so white-looking, but I was proud of it.
At about that same time I passed by a booth selling Celtic jewelry in Union Square, NYC. An overwhelming sense of longing washed over me, I stood paralyzed, wanting so badly to walk up to the booth and make a connection. But feeling the pain of the unfulfilled longing, I kept walking. I wanted the Celtic times back, but I didn’t feel any right to claim being Celtic since I wasn’t Irish. But as I confronted the wound of losing the connection from Earth and from myself and from Source over the next year, I got the courage. This year, when I walked by that same Celtic booth, I walked away with a Celtic cross and a new friend, the owner of the store, a Celtic Storyteller. I felt such a connection to the tradition it totally floored me. It was a pivotal moment.
After this encounter, I decided to revisit the document my Dad had put together for me. After carefully adding up all the 16ths of my bloodline, I was startled to discover that I was half Irish. In fact I was more Irish than Italian. I don’t know why I never knew this, it was never really talked about. I only heard about a German grandmother on my Dad’s side, so I assumed I had a lot of German, which I never wanted to tell anyone having grown up in Jewish neighborhood. But in fact I was only 1/16th German. Having Irish ancestry completely resonated.
This was the information I had been looking for all these years. Being half Irish was enough of a connection to take me into my European indigenous roots. And it snowballed from there. I began learning all about the Celtic and Druid paths. As I read up on Druidism, I was able to see that the information I received through my nightly channelings for the past two years was almost verbatim in the curriculum of Druidism. I sat stunned at what I was reading. I couldn’t believe it, because it finally felt like my body, mind and spirit all came together in a human context, a structure that could house my “brand” of spirituality. I had a tradition and I had indigenous roots. It had been there all along. Who knows for how many hundreds or thousands of years it had remained dormant in my family, but after my research, I knew it was alive and well in the world.
Now, as I sit in the great landscapes of the Southwest, I can relax into the knowledge that I have indigenous roots that speak to me naturally, that are valid that have an ancestral power, that guide me. It is another step in my spiritual path to unity, but one that made me weep for a week. I am still American, still Episcopalian, still a New Yorker, still from the Stars, and still from Source, like everyone else, but I am also a child of Mother Earth and Father Sky, expressing my love for her through a specific structure and community to which I belong. This keeps me proud of being human.
The Mayans, the Kogi, the Havasupai, the Dine, the Apache, and others have all so generously helped me to find my own Indigenous roots. They knew what was missing, and despite their history with white people, took it upon themselves to welcome me home to my roots.
These structures, rituals and traditions that each race has received and created are designed specifically to express the gifts of that race. This intelligence connects us to the circle of time, the medicine wheel, to each other, to the Earth and to God. Most of our religious holidays have been completely stripped their intelligence. The absence of our ancient practices in the modern world, and especially in the Caucasian race, are a major part of the chaos today.
So this April, at the Return of the Ancestors, I bring with me my own ancestral line, and the knowledge that there is beauty and truth to the Caucasian race. I am at the beginning of this awareness, and I hope that others can relate to the story I tell. I hope to help restore this truth, to work with others of all nations to bring humanity into balance with each other and Mother Earth once again. For what we are discovering is truly just being rediscovered and integrated into the modern backdrop of today.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
www.treadwayesoteric.com
What helps you connect to being human on Earth? It is not just about the stars from which you came, but the land, the traditions and the race that runs through your DNA. As most light workers understand, it is not about becoming so filled with light that you leave Earth (finally), it is about connecting so deeply with Source, Self and Earth so that you are a bridge between Father Sky and Mother Earth. That bridge, you, heals and loves the Earth, as it welcomes her into a space of more peace, more love and more joy. We as humans are necessary for Earth’s ascension into her next stage of growth because we are a beloved part of her. As a child of Mother Earth and Father Sky, we are at our best when we receive the love that is offered, and forgive what we think is wrong. We are at our best when we are the fullest expression of our unique Divine Spark. This is what good parents desire: Their children to be happy. This mission is embedded in all of us. And as we heal ourselves, living a life of Joy, we offer our ancestors healing seven generations back and seven forward. And so with that model, Mother Earth and Father Sky are evolving by our efforts. They love us profoundly for it, because any good parent could see that despite the difficult conditions here on Earth, we still dedicate ourselves to love. Knowing who you are as a human being, and loving being a human being is so crucial. While God, Spirit, Creator is always available, our spiritual lineages and ancestry keep our Divine connection grounded in our humanity.
This April, a historic gathering, Return of the Ancestors (www.earthworksforhumanity.org) will take place in northern Arizona. Elders from all over the world will gather in ceremony for the re-union of indigenous wisdom, and for world harmony. As I looked at the guest list, I couldn’t help but notice that there was very little representation from the Indigenous Caucasian tradition. I know what you are thinking, what is the Indigenous Caucasian tradition? Well, I’d like to know too.
As a little girl, I spent most of my time in our yard, which backed up into the woods. I had favorite trees, played with fairies and journeyed with my imagination to parallel worlds and magical lands. I could spend hours out there. The time after a rain was one of my favorites and I would stare, mesmerized at the dew on the leaves. Puddles of water collected at the roots of the trees, forming pools that my pixie friends would swim in. I dreamed of kingdoms and unicorns, making potions from nature and miraculously healing people with my energy that ran through my hands. This was a natural spiritual process that welled up inside me, but no context in the modern world with which to express it. This was my secret world and I never discussed it. My mother was very spiritual, and would have embraced my ideas, but having been unknowingly stripped of her magic, it wasn’t truly real to her either. Had I brought it up it would have been lovingly supported as make believe that she wished were true, and yet this was where I felt the most comfortable, the most real. With no context, I had an instinct to keep this magical world a secret, and it remained that way for a very long time. Many spiritual people have had this experience; I know I am not unique.
I grew up in a predominantly reformed Jewish neighborhood in Westchester County, New York. There were a lot of bagels, Bar Mitzvahs and very high SAT scores. There were a few other Episcopalians, but Christianity was not a culture that directed our lives. In general church was a pleasant experience and I loved the choir music. However I rejected the dogmatic approach to Christianity at an early age, and my natural pagan roots were somewhat supported by my mother who would tell me stories of how Christianity was really created by the Roman Empire for political reasons, that the time we celebrate Christmas was actually adapted from the pagan solstice celebration and that Jesus was actually born some time in the spring or summer (recently scientifically proven by astronomy). Past lives and reincarnation were often talked about and I was constantly reminded that I chose her as a mother whenever we would argue! We were frequent guests at the A.R.E. center, founded by the sleeping prophet, Edgar Cayce. The greatest gift my mother ever gave me was of exposing me to this and encouraging my spirituality.
As a teenager, I felt tremendous callings towards Native Americans. I even did an independent study on the subject as a senior in high school. I didn’t want to be just another hippie co-opting native tradition, but it seemed the best example for what I was experiencing in my heart and soul. I felt so much grief over the destruction of these great cultures. But what of the indigenous roots of Caucasians? I assumed there were none. I didn’t really see any around me, and while I felt an incredible pull towards the Celts, tales of Avalon were just that, tales from a long time ago, and I just didn’t connect my own European roots to the Celts. I thought it had all died and that hurt. I didn’t feel connected to the Wiccan tradition, and the Episcopalian church did not fill the longing for my indigenous roots, and I didn’t feel I had the right to claim any other race’s roots. I carried shame for my race, guilt in my genes. The guilty robe of the race that took out the Native Americans, enslaved the Africans massacred the Jews and on and on. It seemed the most white thing I could do was get a good job, make good money and set the table properly. While I was good at the latter, the former was kind of a bust. But this was my “heritage.” Then why, in my heart, did I wanted to live by the cycles of Nature, reuniting with Mother Earth, living by magic and creativity, swimming in the Mystery?
My freshman year of college I was confronted with this issue head on. There was a group for all minorities, but there was no group for me. And, had I wanted to put together a group, I could not have formed the “White American” group. That would have been a real “no no” and I really wouldn’t have known what do with it. And part of being white is not talking about the fact that you are white. I was told I didn’t need a group because the whole United States was my group. But I did need one, because I had no roots, I was ashamed of being white, and I had no idea what being Caucasian even meant.
Have the supremacists taken away our ability to connect to the innate gifts of being Caucasian, of being a human connected to the root of humanity, of Earth? I think that is one of the biggest cover-ups in history: The raping of the indigenous roots of Caucasians, tracing back at least to the Un-holy Roman Empire. Its not about race, its about stripping the Indigenous of their wisdom of all tribes, of all colors. Because the dominant race of people to conquer was/is white, all white people are at risk to assume that’s who they are too. But we all have had the rug pulled over our eyes. It is not only the Native American children who were taken off their land, sent to boarding school and forced to “convert” to being “white.” The Earth honoring clans of Europe had been slaughtered and converted long before. Our own public schools, in the United States, still do the same thing to our children today.
As I entered into the path of the healer and began doing ceremonies around the world, many indigenous people asked me, “What is your tradition? Where do you come from?” The only thing I knew is that I came from New York, the Stars, and before that Source, like everyone else. And I was American. But I couldn’t tell them about spiritual roots, heritage, ancestry, tradition, anything like that. I had no answers. Over the years I participated in more and more Indigenous ceremonies, trying to find the root, and slowly discovering the power of my own body and how it was connected to the Earth. But I watched with envy as the tribes called upon their ancestors during ceremony, connecting into some invisible strength that gave them more power. I didn’t think calling upon my own ancestors was such a great idea. They were Catholics and Protestants who went to church because they were supposed to. Anyway, my mission was to heal the trauma that had been carried down generation to generation, and frankly I thought they would just screw up the ceremony…then what would the Native Americans say?
At one gathering, and Apache elder spoke to the whites in the audience, he said, “Find your roots. You need it to get through 2012. They are in Europe. Go back and find yourselves so you can transition safely.” I wondered if he was on to something. Growing up there was absolutely no emphasis on roots. Part of being an American is not placing too much significance on your background. When my immigrant ancestors came over from Europe, they did whatever they could to assimilate, many times completely erasing all memory of their heritage.
Over the years I was given many clues to find my heritage, but there was a block within me, a pain so great at having lost the connection that getting it back meant facing the loss head on. This is a crucial thing to acknowledge. There is great pain in our disconnection from the Mother, and the only way back is by confronting it. It is also why so many are completely unable to do it.
A year ago, I asked my parents to write down the story of their families. My father really got excited and he wrote down all the scandals, secrets and lies as best he knew, breaking down my bloodline into 16ths. My dad is a great writer and has an uncanny knack for details and memory. I had heard bits and pieces of the story over the years, but seeing it all written down was like reading a mystery novel. While reading the story, I was only interested in learning about the Italian aspect of the family. I hoped that by being Italian, I might get some pigment in my skin. I kind of skipped over the other information. Treadway, my last name, is not actually a blood name. I wont go into details, but my last name should Cascio, from southern Italy. Due to “scandals,” we have no connection to that bloodline. My mother was able to tell me small details about my great grandfather while he was still in Italy. This was really exciting. His surname was Attanasio. It was hard for me to connect with the Italian line since I was so white-looking, but I was proud of it.
At about that same time I passed by a booth selling Celtic jewelry in Union Square, NYC. An overwhelming sense of longing washed over me, I stood paralyzed, wanting so badly to walk up to the booth and make a connection. But feeling the pain of the unfulfilled longing, I kept walking. I wanted the Celtic times back, but I didn’t feel any right to claim being Celtic since I wasn’t Irish. But as I confronted the wound of losing the connection from Earth and from myself and from Source over the next year, I got the courage. This year, when I walked by that same Celtic booth, I walked away with a Celtic cross and a new friend, the owner of the store, a Celtic Storyteller. I felt such a connection to the tradition it totally floored me. It was a pivotal moment.
After this encounter, I decided to revisit the document my Dad had put together for me. After carefully adding up all the 16ths of my bloodline, I was startled to discover that I was half Irish. In fact I was more Irish than Italian. I don’t know why I never knew this, it was never really talked about. I only heard about a German grandmother on my Dad’s side, so I assumed I had a lot of German, which I never wanted to tell anyone having grown up in Jewish neighborhood. But in fact I was only 1/16th German. Having Irish ancestry completely resonated.
This was the information I had been looking for all these years. Being half Irish was enough of a connection to take me into my European indigenous roots. And it snowballed from there. I began learning all about the Celtic and Druid paths. As I read up on Druidism, I was able to see that the information I received through my nightly channelings for the past two years was almost verbatim in the curriculum of Druidism. I sat stunned at what I was reading. I couldn’t believe it, because it finally felt like my body, mind and spirit all came together in a human context, a structure that could house my “brand” of spirituality. I had a tradition and I had indigenous roots. It had been there all along. Who knows for how many hundreds or thousands of years it had remained dormant in my family, but after my research, I knew it was alive and well in the world.
Now, as I sit in the great landscapes of the Southwest, I can relax into the knowledge that I have indigenous roots that speak to me naturally, that are valid that have an ancestral power, that guide me. It is another step in my spiritual path to unity, but one that made me weep for a week. I am still American, still Episcopalian, still a New Yorker, still from the Stars, and still from Source, like everyone else, but I am also a child of Mother Earth and Father Sky, expressing my love for her through a specific structure and community to which I belong. This keeps me proud of being human.
The Mayans, the Kogi, the Havasupai, the Dine, the Apache, and others have all so generously helped me to find my own Indigenous roots. They knew what was missing, and despite their history with white people, took it upon themselves to welcome me home to my roots.
These structures, rituals and traditions that each race has received and created are designed specifically to express the gifts of that race. This intelligence connects us to the circle of time, the medicine wheel, to each other, to the Earth and to God. Most of our religious holidays have been completely stripped their intelligence. The absence of our ancient practices in the modern world, and especially in the Caucasian race, are a major part of the chaos today.
So this April, at the Return of the Ancestors, I bring with me my own ancestral line, and the knowledge that there is beauty and truth to the Caucasian race. I am at the beginning of this awareness, and I hope that others can relate to the story I tell. I hope to help restore this truth, to work with others of all nations to bring humanity into balance with each other and Mother Earth once again. For what we are discovering is truly just being rediscovered and integrated into the modern backdrop of today.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
Learning to Channel: Interdimensional Friendship
By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com
Over the next several years, I truly believe Planet Earth, and many who reside on her, will be joining the galactic community. This has been one of my life dreams, starting as a teenager when I lived in Cuenca, Ecuador. Our friends down there told us story after story of their close encounters of the 5th dimensional kind. My brother and I were determined to see a ship and take a ride. High in the Andes we would stand on our balcony, screaming out to dark night, begging for our Star Family to communicate with us and take us home. I’m sure they wanted to talk with us, if only to tell us we had to stay on Earth, but we simply didn’t know how to do it! Feeling rejected, we gave up after awhile.
I have spent my whole life wanting contact, and I have spent many days gazing into the sky to catch a glimpse of a UFO. It wasn’t until my last trip to Arizona, that my long held dream of seeing one came true. While driving at sunset in the desert landscape of Chino Valley, my friends and I were talking about UFO’s. I said, “If you are with me you’ll never see one. I have wanted to see one my whole life, but I think I must chase them away.” At that moment, one of my friends said, “CC, look to your left.” I looked out the window and in the distance saw what looked like to be an abnormally gigantic, shimmery, light blimp. We stopped the car. Conveniently my friend had two pairs of binoculars with her. Upon closer inspection, we could see this was no blimp. Three more appeared. They flashed in and out of view as we freaked out. I had heard about these cigar-shaped ships that patrol Earth. It was amazing. I was in a totally different state of mind than I had been at 14. By 33 I had fallen in love with Earth, humanity and the channeling process. I had been talking with interdimensional beings for years.
With Pope Benedict endorsing extraterrestrial life as part of God’s creation, England and France releasing their UFO files online and Stephen Spielberg’s latest alien-loving-Indy-adventure, don’t you get the feeling like we are being prepared for diplomatic relations with our star friends? Wouldn’t it be great if many of us were prepared to open up communication? As we move into the galactic, multidimensional community, it’s going to take more than our 3D skills to empower us. Channeling is one easy way to traverse a multidimensional reality.
There is some controversy about channeling, but from my view, it is just interdimensional friendship. Learning how to navigate relationship through the dimensions takes practice and development, much like navigating relationships in 3D. It can be challenging, but my experience is that once you figure it out, it’s a blissful breeze.
You can channel anything from your Higher Self, to deceased relatives, to angels, to guides, to plants, to crystals, to intergalactic beings, to God. It’s up to you. Direct contact with Spirit is your birthright. As a race we have mostly forgotten this, and so many of us are afraid of it. What if we talk to dark entities? What if we are taken over? What if I lose my grip on reality? Can I trust the information? I’ve heard these concerns and more, so I hope to address a few of those issues as well as lend my perspective and experience on the beauty of channeling.
WHAT IS CHANNELING?
My working definition is that channeling is relationship with Spirit. This can involve it speaking through you, to you, or you communicating to it. Channeling is a form of healing work, requiring that you learn how to tune your frequency to match your goal and requiring that you have integrity within the practice. It is there to assist you in your growth and the planet’s growth. Guides choose to work with you because of common goals. The guides and you align your purpose together to create more peace and balance in the world and universe. When you shift your vibration and intend that a guide talk to you, you are experienced as an antenna of light, requesting clearer communication. So, if you want to talk to high level guides, (which is probably a good idea) you will practice raising your vibration by powerful meditative techniques, like chakra or merkaba spinning, heart meditations, playing music or singing, or dancing with joy; anything where you can quickly enter into an altered state.
If you don’t know how to tune your frequency you could start channeling lower astral energies, deceased people, or lower level guides, who while may not be “evil” may not exactly be what you are looking for. However, if you become adept at channeling, it can be useful to talk with lower level energies to find out what they want so you can ask them to leave or help them evolve, you become their guide. You can also begin to recognize who is well intentioned and evolved and who is not. If you don’t practice, you will never learn the discernment necessary to traverse the worlds. Through practice, you will begin to understand how you operate at a higher vibrating level, and that higher vibrating you becomes integrated into your physical being. Your Higher Self becomes more of you, calling the shots. You walk in effortless alignment with your highest wisdom. Let me tell you, when your 3D reality is not in line with your Higher Self, but you are on the spiritual path, havoc can be created in order for you to learn lessons and get you on track. The more you are communicating as one with your Higher Self, the less trauma you are in for.
One thing I have learned over the years is that everyone can channel. I teach workshops regularly and no one has walked out not being able to do it. But, you must learn the way in which you communicate. Some people receive images and visual stories, some feelings, art or music, and some words. Some do a combination. Over time you can learn how to receive all ways. Your guides are working with you during your most creative moments, sending thought or feeling impulses to you to inspire you and push you to the next level. One of the most joyful experiences for me is watching my students receive this connection for the first time
HOW DO YOU REMAIN EMPOWERED WHEN CHANNELING?
There are a few great ways to do this.
1. Set your intention to be the one in charge.
2. Intend that all channeling be done through your Higher Self or Creator.
3. Intend that all guides you channel be for your highest good and development. High level guides have no interest in dominating or overtaking you.
When channeling your guides or Higher Self, the information coming through should match the frequency of your soul, providing a resonance that establishes further self contact. It is this resonance that allows you to stay present and in control, so you are not dominated by the energy you are channeling. You know you are losing contact with yourself and your guide when the channeling loses that special energy, the words are not effective, it becomes negative or you get sleepy or bored.
Some would say not to let a guide speak through you. But I would guess they never had a high level guide communicating profound words of love and even more profound frequencies of love and ecstasy through their body. Would I do that first? No, but over time, you will recognize when you can simply allow the blessed energy of a high level guide in your body and field.
THE NAME GAME: ARE MY GUIDES FAMOUS?
You wont always get a name for your guide(s). Names are not a big deal in the other dimensions and if they do give you a name, it’s most likely because it sounds right for you. It’s not something to get stuck on. But then there are the famous guides, the Ascended Masters and Angels who do like to pop in. We all like being recognized by famous people, so if they don’t just come to you, call them in! But don’t get attached to the name or reputation of your guide. Just enjoy the connection and the lessons. Unlike Hollywood, you don’t have to know someone or be famous yourself to connect with the Ascended Masters. We all are special in Creator’s eyes and deserve guidance. Taking this further, it is important to stay grounded with this work, to continue to enjoy the presence of your friends on earth. The best use for channeling is using what you’ve learned to make a better life in the physical both for yourself and humanity.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF WHAT YOU ARE CHANNELING IS REAL OR MADE UP?
At first, you don’t, and you shouldn’t expect it. You just have to practice as much as possible. Over time, you can see the areas that were accurate, and the ones that weren’t. You can remember what it felt like to channel the accurate information, and what it felt like to channel the inaccurate information. Ask questions that do not hold a lot of charge for you. In other words, if you are dying to get married and you have just met someone you are very attracted to, you probably shouldn’t start with, “Will Betty and I get married?” It’s a loaded question, you are invested in the outcome, and your emotional energy will be stronger than your clarity. Chances are you will hear, “Yes, Yes, a thousand times yes!!” Or, “No way, she’s a man eater just like all the others!” After awhile, however, you can ask these questions and expect to get good answers. You and your guides will be very familiar with each other. Of course the answers will be growth focused, so you might not hear a yes or no, but a lesson in discernment and patience.
One of the best ways to get immediate feedback is by channeling for others. My students are always surprised but how they are able to do meaningful and relevant channelings for others on their first try.
Guidance from high level guides is always uplifting and always about your growth. You will not be protected from a difficult lesson if it is the best way for you to learn it. Your Higher Self is calling the shots, so as I mentioned before, getting to know and integrate that part of you is essential for an easier ride.
DEALING WITH “LOWER LEVEL” BEINGS
Disclaimer: I do not really see things as lower and higher, its just that English doesn’t offer great alternatives and everyone understands this hierarchal setup. That being said, just like in 3D, there are all kinds out there! Better to know what to do when you encounter a being that is not for your highest good. You simply say, “No thank you,” dismiss them and raise your vibration more to attract a higher level guide. Trust your intuition on this one. High-level guides always uplift you. If you feel confused by the energy you are communicating with, better to dismiss it and raise your vibration. Again, over time you will gain the understanding of how to distinguish energies, and attune yourself accordingly. You may channel unhealed energies and you may even take them on. It’s helpful to work with a supervising healer or teacher who is more knowledgeable than you to get you through the rough spots. You will learn and become more and more empowered. I recently channeled a lower level, very angry being. I dismissed him and raised my vibration, nobody got hurt. I learned what it felt like to do that, to trust myself more and to develop more confidence. If you are further interested in dealing with entity attachment, please read this article: http://spiritofmaat.com/apr08/needy_greedy.html
SELF CARE
Whenever you consistently raise your vibration, you need to support yourself on a physical level. You will need more nutrition, especially your minerals. Fulvic and Humic acids are the best way to re-mineralize after channeling. Exercise keeps you strong and grounded, the stronger you are, the higher the vibration you can channel. Contact with Nature keeps you energized, grounded and supported. Once you have opened up these psychic connections, you must be careful with whom you spend your time, how you manage your energy and your drug and alcohol intake should all but stop. Oftentimes when you are channeling your guide team will sneak in DNA upgrades, vibrational promotions or other healings. Be prepared to listen to your body’s needs as it handles these transitions. The most important thing is to remember that you are still a human being and so you need to pay attention to your body and your human relationships to stay grounded.
HOW TO CHANNEL
As with any spiritual teaching, it is best learned when the teaching is passed on to you in person. This is because all of the energy and protection that the teacher has, and their teachers have, comes with the technique. You will have more energy and support and it will be easier to do. So, if you have someone in your community who teaches it, go and do it. When I teach my classes, I lead people through a ceremony to meet their guide. This sets a sacred container for growth and empowerment. But, I will give a simplified version of channeling so you are aware of the general process. Technique and process will vary with different teachers and traditions.
The first step, as always, is setting sacred space and protection. I have found calling the in the directions to be the most effective methods for protection. If you do not already do this, go to a ceremony with strong Elders and have the teaching passed to you. If you channel on a daily basis, you do not always have to make a big production out of creating sacred space, it is something that you begin to carry within, and your intention can create a circle of protection quickly and effectively. Remember you will have to release the directions and close sacred space when you finish.
After creating your sacred space, use your favorite meditative practice to alter your consciousness. With your intention, call in the highest level guide to assist you in your growth at this time. Ask that this guide be approved by your Higher Self, and that it speak through your Higher Self to you. Take a pen and paper, write a question, and let your mind go as your pen begins to write the words. This is a telepathic communication, so you wont necessarily hear the words like you would in life. It’s a delicate balance of tuning out your mind and surrendering to the telepathic thought impulses, as well as staying present and empowered in your body.
As you write, the first words may come out jarbled, or poetic. Don’t judge, just keep writing. Learn how it feels to surrender to the experience without giving up your power. When it comes to your body, you call the shots. You can use your intention to call in many different types of beings and dimensions. You will find that guides will come to you and want to talk. You can try speaking the words instead of writing. More energy will flow and it’s easier to tune out your mind and enjoy the process. Guides will send thought impulses, images, memories and emotions to help you. You can sing it, play it, speak it, draw it, or create it in any medium. They use what is already in your mind to create a new perspective or lesson. So the more you grow and learn, the more they have to work with and the more energy you can handle. Then practice a lot.
You will notice when you channel that it is easy to shift your vibration. This is because your guide is sending you a boost of energy to assist in shifting your consciousness, making you more receptive to the channeling. A relationship begins to develop. Each time you channel it becomes easier and easier.
I practiced every morning for months before I could see patterns. After about two years of channeling, my healer downloaded a new technique from my guides to help me open even more. He helped create a clearer pathway and I was off and running. After that session the words flowed like a regular conversation and I began to offer one on one channeling sessions and group channelings. I was able to tune out my own personal agenda completely and ask difficult questions. More importantly, I was able to accept answers that led me in a totally different direction than I had wanted to go.
WHAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM CHANNELING
To try and summarize all that I have learned would be impossible. But, I think the coolest part of it was feeling like I was in a mystery school designed specifically for me. My Higher Self and guides taught me how to develop psychic skills and healing skills, how to shift from linear thinking to spherical thinking, they especially helped me with relationships and not defaulting into old patterns. They helped me get out of my projected idea of how the healing process should look, and showed me how it actually works for me. After a few years of channeling, I made deal with my Higher Self and guide team that they would tell me if a man was a good potential mate, since I seemed to not be able to do that myself. They meticulously told me, most of the time crushing my spirits, but they were always right and each time I learned a deeper lesson about my own patterning. What an empowering process! Now I no longer need to ask, I learned it.
They helped me develop even deeper contact with my soul, my essence and my purpose. They helped me with self-confidence in my healing practice and are always there to call on if I need spiritual supervision with clients before or after a session. Most importantly, I became confident in my unique and personal way of communicating with and relating to spirituality. I feel comforted and taken care of at all times, deeply loved, important and part of Creator’s expression. My ability to feel my own divinity has multiplied a thousand times over. I never feel alone and I trust myself.
These days my channeling has opened up to galactic service. With the presence of Star Family all around us, I already feel part of the galactic community, prepared and educated for the upcoming changes. I am able to access my direct connection to Spirit and information whenever I need, never relying on another’s words, but empowered enough in my own abilities to be able to discern what I can take in from other’s wisdom.
Channeling is your ticket to mastering how to shift your vibration to access different realities, different guides and beings and bring it all into the awareness of your heart. Instead of feeling like you are in a million places at once, it all gets reconciled in the non- dualistic, all encompassing space of the heart. You are literally experiencing the universe within. The outer becomes the inner and vice versa. To me this is freedom.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
www.treadwayesoteric.com
Over the next several years, I truly believe Planet Earth, and many who reside on her, will be joining the galactic community. This has been one of my life dreams, starting as a teenager when I lived in Cuenca, Ecuador. Our friends down there told us story after story of their close encounters of the 5th dimensional kind. My brother and I were determined to see a ship and take a ride. High in the Andes we would stand on our balcony, screaming out to dark night, begging for our Star Family to communicate with us and take us home. I’m sure they wanted to talk with us, if only to tell us we had to stay on Earth, but we simply didn’t know how to do it! Feeling rejected, we gave up after awhile.
I have spent my whole life wanting contact, and I have spent many days gazing into the sky to catch a glimpse of a UFO. It wasn’t until my last trip to Arizona, that my long held dream of seeing one came true. While driving at sunset in the desert landscape of Chino Valley, my friends and I were talking about UFO’s. I said, “If you are with me you’ll never see one. I have wanted to see one my whole life, but I think I must chase them away.” At that moment, one of my friends said, “CC, look to your left.” I looked out the window and in the distance saw what looked like to be an abnormally gigantic, shimmery, light blimp. We stopped the car. Conveniently my friend had two pairs of binoculars with her. Upon closer inspection, we could see this was no blimp. Three more appeared. They flashed in and out of view as we freaked out. I had heard about these cigar-shaped ships that patrol Earth. It was amazing. I was in a totally different state of mind than I had been at 14. By 33 I had fallen in love with Earth, humanity and the channeling process. I had been talking with interdimensional beings for years.
With Pope Benedict endorsing extraterrestrial life as part of God’s creation, England and France releasing their UFO files online and Stephen Spielberg’s latest alien-loving-Indy-adventure, don’t you get the feeling like we are being prepared for diplomatic relations with our star friends? Wouldn’t it be great if many of us were prepared to open up communication? As we move into the galactic, multidimensional community, it’s going to take more than our 3D skills to empower us. Channeling is one easy way to traverse a multidimensional reality.
There is some controversy about channeling, but from my view, it is just interdimensional friendship. Learning how to navigate relationship through the dimensions takes practice and development, much like navigating relationships in 3D. It can be challenging, but my experience is that once you figure it out, it’s a blissful breeze.
You can channel anything from your Higher Self, to deceased relatives, to angels, to guides, to plants, to crystals, to intergalactic beings, to God. It’s up to you. Direct contact with Spirit is your birthright. As a race we have mostly forgotten this, and so many of us are afraid of it. What if we talk to dark entities? What if we are taken over? What if I lose my grip on reality? Can I trust the information? I’ve heard these concerns and more, so I hope to address a few of those issues as well as lend my perspective and experience on the beauty of channeling.
WHAT IS CHANNELING?
My working definition is that channeling is relationship with Spirit. This can involve it speaking through you, to you, or you communicating to it. Channeling is a form of healing work, requiring that you learn how to tune your frequency to match your goal and requiring that you have integrity within the practice. It is there to assist you in your growth and the planet’s growth. Guides choose to work with you because of common goals. The guides and you align your purpose together to create more peace and balance in the world and universe. When you shift your vibration and intend that a guide talk to you, you are experienced as an antenna of light, requesting clearer communication. So, if you want to talk to high level guides, (which is probably a good idea) you will practice raising your vibration by powerful meditative techniques, like chakra or merkaba spinning, heart meditations, playing music or singing, or dancing with joy; anything where you can quickly enter into an altered state.
If you don’t know how to tune your frequency you could start channeling lower astral energies, deceased people, or lower level guides, who while may not be “evil” may not exactly be what you are looking for. However, if you become adept at channeling, it can be useful to talk with lower level energies to find out what they want so you can ask them to leave or help them evolve, you become their guide. You can also begin to recognize who is well intentioned and evolved and who is not. If you don’t practice, you will never learn the discernment necessary to traverse the worlds. Through practice, you will begin to understand how you operate at a higher vibrating level, and that higher vibrating you becomes integrated into your physical being. Your Higher Self becomes more of you, calling the shots. You walk in effortless alignment with your highest wisdom. Let me tell you, when your 3D reality is not in line with your Higher Self, but you are on the spiritual path, havoc can be created in order for you to learn lessons and get you on track. The more you are communicating as one with your Higher Self, the less trauma you are in for.
One thing I have learned over the years is that everyone can channel. I teach workshops regularly and no one has walked out not being able to do it. But, you must learn the way in which you communicate. Some people receive images and visual stories, some feelings, art or music, and some words. Some do a combination. Over time you can learn how to receive all ways. Your guides are working with you during your most creative moments, sending thought or feeling impulses to you to inspire you and push you to the next level. One of the most joyful experiences for me is watching my students receive this connection for the first time
HOW DO YOU REMAIN EMPOWERED WHEN CHANNELING?
There are a few great ways to do this.
1. Set your intention to be the one in charge.
2. Intend that all channeling be done through your Higher Self or Creator.
3. Intend that all guides you channel be for your highest good and development. High level guides have no interest in dominating or overtaking you.
When channeling your guides or Higher Self, the information coming through should match the frequency of your soul, providing a resonance that establishes further self contact. It is this resonance that allows you to stay present and in control, so you are not dominated by the energy you are channeling. You know you are losing contact with yourself and your guide when the channeling loses that special energy, the words are not effective, it becomes negative or you get sleepy or bored.
Some would say not to let a guide speak through you. But I would guess they never had a high level guide communicating profound words of love and even more profound frequencies of love and ecstasy through their body. Would I do that first? No, but over time, you will recognize when you can simply allow the blessed energy of a high level guide in your body and field.
THE NAME GAME: ARE MY GUIDES FAMOUS?
You wont always get a name for your guide(s). Names are not a big deal in the other dimensions and if they do give you a name, it’s most likely because it sounds right for you. It’s not something to get stuck on. But then there are the famous guides, the Ascended Masters and Angels who do like to pop in. We all like being recognized by famous people, so if they don’t just come to you, call them in! But don’t get attached to the name or reputation of your guide. Just enjoy the connection and the lessons. Unlike Hollywood, you don’t have to know someone or be famous yourself to connect with the Ascended Masters. We all are special in Creator’s eyes and deserve guidance. Taking this further, it is important to stay grounded with this work, to continue to enjoy the presence of your friends on earth. The best use for channeling is using what you’ve learned to make a better life in the physical both for yourself and humanity.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF WHAT YOU ARE CHANNELING IS REAL OR MADE UP?
At first, you don’t, and you shouldn’t expect it. You just have to practice as much as possible. Over time, you can see the areas that were accurate, and the ones that weren’t. You can remember what it felt like to channel the accurate information, and what it felt like to channel the inaccurate information. Ask questions that do not hold a lot of charge for you. In other words, if you are dying to get married and you have just met someone you are very attracted to, you probably shouldn’t start with, “Will Betty and I get married?” It’s a loaded question, you are invested in the outcome, and your emotional energy will be stronger than your clarity. Chances are you will hear, “Yes, Yes, a thousand times yes!!” Or, “No way, she’s a man eater just like all the others!” After awhile, however, you can ask these questions and expect to get good answers. You and your guides will be very familiar with each other. Of course the answers will be growth focused, so you might not hear a yes or no, but a lesson in discernment and patience.
One of the best ways to get immediate feedback is by channeling for others. My students are always surprised but how they are able to do meaningful and relevant channelings for others on their first try.
Guidance from high level guides is always uplifting and always about your growth. You will not be protected from a difficult lesson if it is the best way for you to learn it. Your Higher Self is calling the shots, so as I mentioned before, getting to know and integrate that part of you is essential for an easier ride.
DEALING WITH “LOWER LEVEL” BEINGS
Disclaimer: I do not really see things as lower and higher, its just that English doesn’t offer great alternatives and everyone understands this hierarchal setup. That being said, just like in 3D, there are all kinds out there! Better to know what to do when you encounter a being that is not for your highest good. You simply say, “No thank you,” dismiss them and raise your vibration more to attract a higher level guide. Trust your intuition on this one. High-level guides always uplift you. If you feel confused by the energy you are communicating with, better to dismiss it and raise your vibration. Again, over time you will gain the understanding of how to distinguish energies, and attune yourself accordingly. You may channel unhealed energies and you may even take them on. It’s helpful to work with a supervising healer or teacher who is more knowledgeable than you to get you through the rough spots. You will learn and become more and more empowered. I recently channeled a lower level, very angry being. I dismissed him and raised my vibration, nobody got hurt. I learned what it felt like to do that, to trust myself more and to develop more confidence. If you are further interested in dealing with entity attachment, please read this article: http://spiritofmaat.com/apr08/needy_greedy.html
SELF CARE
Whenever you consistently raise your vibration, you need to support yourself on a physical level. You will need more nutrition, especially your minerals. Fulvic and Humic acids are the best way to re-mineralize after channeling. Exercise keeps you strong and grounded, the stronger you are, the higher the vibration you can channel. Contact with Nature keeps you energized, grounded and supported. Once you have opened up these psychic connections, you must be careful with whom you spend your time, how you manage your energy and your drug and alcohol intake should all but stop. Oftentimes when you are channeling your guide team will sneak in DNA upgrades, vibrational promotions or other healings. Be prepared to listen to your body’s needs as it handles these transitions. The most important thing is to remember that you are still a human being and so you need to pay attention to your body and your human relationships to stay grounded.
HOW TO CHANNEL
As with any spiritual teaching, it is best learned when the teaching is passed on to you in person. This is because all of the energy and protection that the teacher has, and their teachers have, comes with the technique. You will have more energy and support and it will be easier to do. So, if you have someone in your community who teaches it, go and do it. When I teach my classes, I lead people through a ceremony to meet their guide. This sets a sacred container for growth and empowerment. But, I will give a simplified version of channeling so you are aware of the general process. Technique and process will vary with different teachers and traditions.
The first step, as always, is setting sacred space and protection. I have found calling the in the directions to be the most effective methods for protection. If you do not already do this, go to a ceremony with strong Elders and have the teaching passed to you. If you channel on a daily basis, you do not always have to make a big production out of creating sacred space, it is something that you begin to carry within, and your intention can create a circle of protection quickly and effectively. Remember you will have to release the directions and close sacred space when you finish.
After creating your sacred space, use your favorite meditative practice to alter your consciousness. With your intention, call in the highest level guide to assist you in your growth at this time. Ask that this guide be approved by your Higher Self, and that it speak through your Higher Self to you. Take a pen and paper, write a question, and let your mind go as your pen begins to write the words. This is a telepathic communication, so you wont necessarily hear the words like you would in life. It’s a delicate balance of tuning out your mind and surrendering to the telepathic thought impulses, as well as staying present and empowered in your body.
As you write, the first words may come out jarbled, or poetic. Don’t judge, just keep writing. Learn how it feels to surrender to the experience without giving up your power. When it comes to your body, you call the shots. You can use your intention to call in many different types of beings and dimensions. You will find that guides will come to you and want to talk. You can try speaking the words instead of writing. More energy will flow and it’s easier to tune out your mind and enjoy the process. Guides will send thought impulses, images, memories and emotions to help you. You can sing it, play it, speak it, draw it, or create it in any medium. They use what is already in your mind to create a new perspective or lesson. So the more you grow and learn, the more they have to work with and the more energy you can handle. Then practice a lot.
You will notice when you channel that it is easy to shift your vibration. This is because your guide is sending you a boost of energy to assist in shifting your consciousness, making you more receptive to the channeling. A relationship begins to develop. Each time you channel it becomes easier and easier.
I practiced every morning for months before I could see patterns. After about two years of channeling, my healer downloaded a new technique from my guides to help me open even more. He helped create a clearer pathway and I was off and running. After that session the words flowed like a regular conversation and I began to offer one on one channeling sessions and group channelings. I was able to tune out my own personal agenda completely and ask difficult questions. More importantly, I was able to accept answers that led me in a totally different direction than I had wanted to go.
WHAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM CHANNELING
To try and summarize all that I have learned would be impossible. But, I think the coolest part of it was feeling like I was in a mystery school designed specifically for me. My Higher Self and guides taught me how to develop psychic skills and healing skills, how to shift from linear thinking to spherical thinking, they especially helped me with relationships and not defaulting into old patterns. They helped me get out of my projected idea of how the healing process should look, and showed me how it actually works for me. After a few years of channeling, I made deal with my Higher Self and guide team that they would tell me if a man was a good potential mate, since I seemed to not be able to do that myself. They meticulously told me, most of the time crushing my spirits, but they were always right and each time I learned a deeper lesson about my own patterning. What an empowering process! Now I no longer need to ask, I learned it.
They helped me develop even deeper contact with my soul, my essence and my purpose. They helped me with self-confidence in my healing practice and are always there to call on if I need spiritual supervision with clients before or after a session. Most importantly, I became confident in my unique and personal way of communicating with and relating to spirituality. I feel comforted and taken care of at all times, deeply loved, important and part of Creator’s expression. My ability to feel my own divinity has multiplied a thousand times over. I never feel alone and I trust myself.
These days my channeling has opened up to galactic service. With the presence of Star Family all around us, I already feel part of the galactic community, prepared and educated for the upcoming changes. I am able to access my direct connection to Spirit and information whenever I need, never relying on another’s words, but empowered enough in my own abilities to be able to discern what I can take in from other’s wisdom.
Channeling is your ticket to mastering how to shift your vibration to access different realities, different guides and beings and bring it all into the awareness of your heart. Instead of feeling like you are in a million places at once, it all gets reconciled in the non- dualistic, all encompassing space of the heart. You are literally experiencing the universe within. The outer becomes the inner and vice versa. To me this is freedom.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
Right Brain Technology and Energy Healing
By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com
I often get asked, “Energy healing? What is that, is it like Reiki?” I explain it a little and they say, “How does that work?” It’s a big question really, so I decided to break it down in a way that could be understood by those who are interested, but perhaps still a little skeptical, or I would say, uneducated on the subject. I may be preaching to the choir for many, but I still get asked how it all works by even my old time clients.
The world we live in is dominated by left brain technology: Quantitative analysis, explanation, categorization, study, certainty, results, living for the future/upwardly mobile attitude, linear thinking and linear creative development.
Energy healing requires the development of right brained technology: Intuition, experience, the big picture, imagination, inspiration, patterns, the unknown, living in the moment, spherical thinking and spherical creative development.
Those skills cannot be explained, only experienced. Many spiritual seekers can be incredibly frustrated when they so desperately want a taste of the energy realms, but have not developed their right brain enough to let go. It’s a huge leap of faith to take and sometimes requires a series of humbling life experiences to open up to it. Like when someone has a near death experience. That usually does the trick.
We have not spent the time examining the potential of the right brain because when one hemisphere is dominant, it automatically thinks its way is the proper way. Therefore the left-brain thinks it knows best and discards the accomplishments of the right. It’s really a simple problem with a simple solution. Let us not dismiss the potential of the right brain, or underestimate what we don’t know. Both hemispheres have potential for spiritual and consciousness development and it is essential that they work together, but it is the right one in particular that gives us psychic skills and allows us access into the mystic realms.
Psychic skills and energy healing are not a mystery, nor are they proof that God exists. They are the result of a high functioning right brain. Development of those skills may require time, effort and practice. Even those with a “natural ability” need to spend time perfecting their skills. We also need a strong left-brain so we can take what we learn in our journeys and integrate them. Physics can also help clarify (and quantify if you really need to- see Nassim Haramein) many of the discoveries of the right brain.
When the Amazonian cultures began using Ayahuasca, they didn’t have a scientist in a lab develop the product, chemically reproduce it and deliver it to the surrounding villages for a fee. If you ask them, they will say their ancestors sat in a meditative state and let the vine talk to them. The vine then told them how to make the formula.
“Ha ha, that’s crazy!!!” dismisses the Left-brain,
“Its perfectly normal,” says the Right, “Duh.”
Of course, yin and yang, male and female, ebony and ivory…go together in perfect harmony. Forgive me, I can’t help it; I have seven planets in Libra in my natal chart. Yes, seven!!
I’ll never forget one time I was working as a camp counselor when I was 18. There was this one kid, about 8 yrs old, who was always disappearing, seemingly into thin air. This freaked everyone out. He was for sure a “different” kinda kid. One time he reappeared by the swing set. I asked him, “Where do you go when you disappear?” He said matter-of-factly, “ I go into to the other dimensions.” I was excited, “Well how do you get to them?” He became really flustered and said, “You go through the portals, they’re everywhere. Jeez, Why can’t any one else see them? I hate it.” That little Indigo looked so angry. I wanted to talk with him forever, but the head counselor came running over and scolded us both. To him, his reality was so obvious and he couldn’t understand how anyone could not see his way. He was right brainer, pineal and pituitary gland officially activated.
What if things like letting go, leaping into the unknown, uncertainty and imagination were skills that could be developed? It’s maddening for the left-brain to understand this. Uncertainty invalidates quantifiable results. In left-brain thinking, if there aren’t quantifiable results, it’s not valid. But uncertainty, gray area, and infinite possibilities are precisely what you need to navigate and understand to develop the right brain. Imagination and creativity is the gateway to receiving accurate psychic information. When you let go and surrender into the unknown, energy takes over and if you are comfortable there, you are content to go with the flow.
When you are in the flow, energy takes over and decides which direction things are going to go. Why does energy take over? Because when you let go and stop trying to control you will see and understand where energy is flowing naturally. Different chakras and senses open, sometimes revealing the energy to the eyes, or the ears. It’s like when you learn to surf. In order to catch the right part of the wave, you have to totally let go of your control and be in the zone of the sea. If you take a step back and observe the bigger picture, your body/energy will know exactly when to paddle and stand up to catch the wave and achieve the desired results. The senses that you need to surf that wave open up and reveal themselves to you.
If you can see, sense or know which way energy is naturally flowing with a client, you know what you are working with. You may or may not get a name like “cancer”, or “childhood abuse,” but you will know that the way the energy is flowing is contraindicated to a healthy body. However, you still do not try to “fix a problem.” From a right-brained perspective, you work with the energy of the person. One of the most important things that I learned in my training was to always see the person as their healthy self when approaching a session. This means that while the energy that is currently flowing may be creating disease, if you tap into the natural energy flow of the client when they are in a healthy state, you can work to shift the energy in that direction. This requires imagination. It’s not totally straightforward, it’s an experience. I always know when I am trying to “force” health on a client out of my own desire. The energy is not smooth, flowing and easy, it’s efforted. I’m in my left-brain, with my desire for the results more important than the process.
Of course the health of the client is not up to the healer. This brings up an interesting issue, “What if the clients energy flow of infection is stronger than the intention for health?” At that point the client needs to do personal work to help shift their belief systems to bring their energy out of disease and into health. There are infinite ways to work with belief systems. The energy of the universe will support health if the majority of the client’s energy is supporting health. Remember that the will of the client will determine the outcome of the healing. Sometimes a client wants to heal so badly, but there is more energy in their system pointing towards illness. It can take time to shift that and can be very frustrating.
If you develop your right brain, like we’ve spent all these years developing our left, your understanding of energy multiplies. Your ability to work with energy multiplies. The energy that flows through you will work in harmony with the client’s energy, shifting the balance to health. Specific techniques, skills and information will flow through you without thought. Your left-brain may write those skills down and use them again in future healings. Some days, you cannot get in the flow no matter how hard you try, and it is very useful to have a solid set of skills to fall back on. Any discipline requires its technique and my training required that we developed both sides of the brain.
There is always more to say and learn on this subject and there is always room for argument, but I hope this gives some of you left-brainers some answers!
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
www.treadwayesoteric.com
I often get asked, “Energy healing? What is that, is it like Reiki?” I explain it a little and they say, “How does that work?” It’s a big question really, so I decided to break it down in a way that could be understood by those who are interested, but perhaps still a little skeptical, or I would say, uneducated on the subject. I may be preaching to the choir for many, but I still get asked how it all works by even my old time clients.
The world we live in is dominated by left brain technology: Quantitative analysis, explanation, categorization, study, certainty, results, living for the future/upwardly mobile attitude, linear thinking and linear creative development.
Energy healing requires the development of right brained technology: Intuition, experience, the big picture, imagination, inspiration, patterns, the unknown, living in the moment, spherical thinking and spherical creative development.
Those skills cannot be explained, only experienced. Many spiritual seekers can be incredibly frustrated when they so desperately want a taste of the energy realms, but have not developed their right brain enough to let go. It’s a huge leap of faith to take and sometimes requires a series of humbling life experiences to open up to it. Like when someone has a near death experience. That usually does the trick.
We have not spent the time examining the potential of the right brain because when one hemisphere is dominant, it automatically thinks its way is the proper way. Therefore the left-brain thinks it knows best and discards the accomplishments of the right. It’s really a simple problem with a simple solution. Let us not dismiss the potential of the right brain, or underestimate what we don’t know. Both hemispheres have potential for spiritual and consciousness development and it is essential that they work together, but it is the right one in particular that gives us psychic skills and allows us access into the mystic realms.
Psychic skills and energy healing are not a mystery, nor are they proof that God exists. They are the result of a high functioning right brain. Development of those skills may require time, effort and practice. Even those with a “natural ability” need to spend time perfecting their skills. We also need a strong left-brain so we can take what we learn in our journeys and integrate them. Physics can also help clarify (and quantify if you really need to- see Nassim Haramein) many of the discoveries of the right brain.
When the Amazonian cultures began using Ayahuasca, they didn’t have a scientist in a lab develop the product, chemically reproduce it and deliver it to the surrounding villages for a fee. If you ask them, they will say their ancestors sat in a meditative state and let the vine talk to them. The vine then told them how to make the formula.
“Ha ha, that’s crazy!!!” dismisses the Left-brain,
“Its perfectly normal,” says the Right, “Duh.”
Of course, yin and yang, male and female, ebony and ivory…go together in perfect harmony. Forgive me, I can’t help it; I have seven planets in Libra in my natal chart. Yes, seven!!
I’ll never forget one time I was working as a camp counselor when I was 18. There was this one kid, about 8 yrs old, who was always disappearing, seemingly into thin air. This freaked everyone out. He was for sure a “different” kinda kid. One time he reappeared by the swing set. I asked him, “Where do you go when you disappear?” He said matter-of-factly, “ I go into to the other dimensions.” I was excited, “Well how do you get to them?” He became really flustered and said, “You go through the portals, they’re everywhere. Jeez, Why can’t any one else see them? I hate it.” That little Indigo looked so angry. I wanted to talk with him forever, but the head counselor came running over and scolded us both. To him, his reality was so obvious and he couldn’t understand how anyone could not see his way. He was right brainer, pineal and pituitary gland officially activated.
What if things like letting go, leaping into the unknown, uncertainty and imagination were skills that could be developed? It’s maddening for the left-brain to understand this. Uncertainty invalidates quantifiable results. In left-brain thinking, if there aren’t quantifiable results, it’s not valid. But uncertainty, gray area, and infinite possibilities are precisely what you need to navigate and understand to develop the right brain. Imagination and creativity is the gateway to receiving accurate psychic information. When you let go and surrender into the unknown, energy takes over and if you are comfortable there, you are content to go with the flow.
When you are in the flow, energy takes over and decides which direction things are going to go. Why does energy take over? Because when you let go and stop trying to control you will see and understand where energy is flowing naturally. Different chakras and senses open, sometimes revealing the energy to the eyes, or the ears. It’s like when you learn to surf. In order to catch the right part of the wave, you have to totally let go of your control and be in the zone of the sea. If you take a step back and observe the bigger picture, your body/energy will know exactly when to paddle and stand up to catch the wave and achieve the desired results. The senses that you need to surf that wave open up and reveal themselves to you.
If you can see, sense or know which way energy is naturally flowing with a client, you know what you are working with. You may or may not get a name like “cancer”, or “childhood abuse,” but you will know that the way the energy is flowing is contraindicated to a healthy body. However, you still do not try to “fix a problem.” From a right-brained perspective, you work with the energy of the person. One of the most important things that I learned in my training was to always see the person as their healthy self when approaching a session. This means that while the energy that is currently flowing may be creating disease, if you tap into the natural energy flow of the client when they are in a healthy state, you can work to shift the energy in that direction. This requires imagination. It’s not totally straightforward, it’s an experience. I always know when I am trying to “force” health on a client out of my own desire. The energy is not smooth, flowing and easy, it’s efforted. I’m in my left-brain, with my desire for the results more important than the process.
Of course the health of the client is not up to the healer. This brings up an interesting issue, “What if the clients energy flow of infection is stronger than the intention for health?” At that point the client needs to do personal work to help shift their belief systems to bring their energy out of disease and into health. There are infinite ways to work with belief systems. The energy of the universe will support health if the majority of the client’s energy is supporting health. Remember that the will of the client will determine the outcome of the healing. Sometimes a client wants to heal so badly, but there is more energy in their system pointing towards illness. It can take time to shift that and can be very frustrating.
If you develop your right brain, like we’ve spent all these years developing our left, your understanding of energy multiplies. Your ability to work with energy multiplies. The energy that flows through you will work in harmony with the client’s energy, shifting the balance to health. Specific techniques, skills and information will flow through you without thought. Your left-brain may write those skills down and use them again in future healings. Some days, you cannot get in the flow no matter how hard you try, and it is very useful to have a solid set of skills to fall back on. Any discipline requires its technique and my training required that we developed both sides of the brain.
There is always more to say and learn on this subject and there is always room for argument, but I hope this gives some of you left-brainers some answers!
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
Setting Sacred Space: The Timelessness of Tradition
By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com
Creating sacred space is one of those things that all lightworkers and healers should know about. I had excellent training at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, but that program deemphasizes lineage and tradition to create a clean slate for people all backgrounds to come in and learn. Therefore, during that time, I was not yet connected to the ancient tradition of things like calling in the seven directions. Before each healing session, I would set my intention, call in my guides, angelic protection and get to healing. This worked OK, but after traveling with Drunvalo Melchizedek from country to country and tribe to tribe, I began to notice that traditional ceremonial format was very powerful and very effortless. I started to scratch my head, “Why was doing these simple things so effective?”
During our final ceremony with Drunvalo in Easter Island last February, we made a medicine wheel. It wasn’t a very big medicine wheel, although it was a very big ceremony. We were turning on the Christ Grid. (To read about it go to http://spiritofmaat.com/mar08/easter_island_jorney.html) Drunvalo said, “Mother Earth will recognize us and know we are here as soon as we make the medicine wheel. The medicine wheel has been used by the indigenous forever!” I thought that was pretty cool, although it wasn’t the time for more questions since we were about to save the world….again!
The ceremony went off without a hitch, which was amazing after going through the two weeks that lead up to it. No matter what happened before, and what would happen after, during the ceremony we were protected.
When I got home I decided to give it a whirl. I began to make medicine wheels in my apartment during my personal ritual and calling in the directions before a day of healing work. What a difference!!! I had the support of the elements and energies of Earth as well as the energies of the Universe and Guides. I also had the support of my ancestors and the animal kingdom. My energy levels rose and I felt recognized by Creator in my healing. It was so easy, I could feel that thousands of years of performing this simple act had embedded the ritual into the fabric of the Universe. I had to know more.
We spend most of our time out of sacred space. Even if we live a very sacred lifestyle, sacred space is something all together different. In sacred space miracles can happen easily and effortlessly. This is because the energy changes, and we leave the realm of linear time and step into the Infinite. Creator is close and cause and effect gives way to immediacy.
I really wanted to see even more clearly, what happens when we call in the directions. So I turned on my 3rd eye and took a peek. As I called in each direction I saw a force field of energy come and form an energetic barrier on each side of me. I stood in the center, as the circle was cast, and was shown that I was standing in the place of no time. You could almost think of it as the universe moves like a hurricane, then all the sudden, at your command, you create a sphere of space that is completely still, unaffected by this movement, almost like Moses parting the Red Sea, and almost like being the eye of the storm. You are standing as the center, you are the center of the universe; out of time, out of harms way and in a controlled environment. You are at once totally still and moving much faster than the eye could see. You become undetectable. Even Verizon Wireless couldn’t find you there. It’s invite only, so only those beings that you invoke can enter. It’s a pretty cool place to be.
When you do spirit work, your chakras open wide, your auric field expands to perceive dimensions beyond the 3D, and you become accessible to those dimensions as well. Which way would you rather open: In a controlled, safe and sacred environment or without any protection? Literally it’s like everyone on the streets of New York City running up to you grabbing your arm or asking something of you. I’ve personally experienced that and can tell you it’s not as fun as it sounds. I hear you lovey-dovey types saying, “I want to open anywhere any time,” and I say, “Good for you, have your own experience.” I’m just sharing what I have learned.
Imagine how much more powerful and immediate your healing work is when supported by the forces of nature, with no distractions from the outside world. The whole universe lines up for you and your intention. This process should not be taken lightly, but respected for the power it offers.
I call upon the South, West, North, East, Below, Above and the Center in a clockwise manner to create my circle. I call upon my ancestors, guides, Higher Self, angels, elementals, power animals, and all my relations on Earth. Each direction has its purpose, its personality, its element and its gift. Rather than tell you exactly how to do it, I encourage you to attend ceremonies and receive it live. The process varies from tradition to tradition and finding what resonates for you makes it real. Indigenous peoples of all races have used this so don’t think because you are not Native American that you don’t have the right to access it. The Celts practice it as well as Pagans and Wiccans.
When you have finished your ceremony or healing work, you need to release the directions in a counter clockwise manner and close sacred space. This is because the sacred space needs your intention to maintain its integrity. If you just leave the space hanging after you are done, then it can get energetically messy. Over time it will probably correct itself, but there is the danger of opening up energetic holes. Also, you need to let your guests go home. One might call it disrespectful that you never officially let them out!
I continually find through my own experience that the methods used for thousands of years by our indigenous peoples have real merit in their present day application. These methods have been kept secret for a long time, but as we reclaim them, their wisdom is effortlessly revealed to us, welcoming us home to our power, our connectedness and our truth.
(c ) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
www.treadwayesoteric.com
Creating sacred space is one of those things that all lightworkers and healers should know about. I had excellent training at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, but that program deemphasizes lineage and tradition to create a clean slate for people all backgrounds to come in and learn. Therefore, during that time, I was not yet connected to the ancient tradition of things like calling in the seven directions. Before each healing session, I would set my intention, call in my guides, angelic protection and get to healing. This worked OK, but after traveling with Drunvalo Melchizedek from country to country and tribe to tribe, I began to notice that traditional ceremonial format was very powerful and very effortless. I started to scratch my head, “Why was doing these simple things so effective?”
During our final ceremony with Drunvalo in Easter Island last February, we made a medicine wheel. It wasn’t a very big medicine wheel, although it was a very big ceremony. We were turning on the Christ Grid. (To read about it go to http://spiritofmaat.com/mar08/easter_island_jorney.html) Drunvalo said, “Mother Earth will recognize us and know we are here as soon as we make the medicine wheel. The medicine wheel has been used by the indigenous forever!” I thought that was pretty cool, although it wasn’t the time for more questions since we were about to save the world….again!
The ceremony went off without a hitch, which was amazing after going through the two weeks that lead up to it. No matter what happened before, and what would happen after, during the ceremony we were protected.
When I got home I decided to give it a whirl. I began to make medicine wheels in my apartment during my personal ritual and calling in the directions before a day of healing work. What a difference!!! I had the support of the elements and energies of Earth as well as the energies of the Universe and Guides. I also had the support of my ancestors and the animal kingdom. My energy levels rose and I felt recognized by Creator in my healing. It was so easy, I could feel that thousands of years of performing this simple act had embedded the ritual into the fabric of the Universe. I had to know more.
We spend most of our time out of sacred space. Even if we live a very sacred lifestyle, sacred space is something all together different. In sacred space miracles can happen easily and effortlessly. This is because the energy changes, and we leave the realm of linear time and step into the Infinite. Creator is close and cause and effect gives way to immediacy.
I really wanted to see even more clearly, what happens when we call in the directions. So I turned on my 3rd eye and took a peek. As I called in each direction I saw a force field of energy come and form an energetic barrier on each side of me. I stood in the center, as the circle was cast, and was shown that I was standing in the place of no time. You could almost think of it as the universe moves like a hurricane, then all the sudden, at your command, you create a sphere of space that is completely still, unaffected by this movement, almost like Moses parting the Red Sea, and almost like being the eye of the storm. You are standing as the center, you are the center of the universe; out of time, out of harms way and in a controlled environment. You are at once totally still and moving much faster than the eye could see. You become undetectable. Even Verizon Wireless couldn’t find you there. It’s invite only, so only those beings that you invoke can enter. It’s a pretty cool place to be.
When you do spirit work, your chakras open wide, your auric field expands to perceive dimensions beyond the 3D, and you become accessible to those dimensions as well. Which way would you rather open: In a controlled, safe and sacred environment or without any protection? Literally it’s like everyone on the streets of New York City running up to you grabbing your arm or asking something of you. I’ve personally experienced that and can tell you it’s not as fun as it sounds. I hear you lovey-dovey types saying, “I want to open anywhere any time,” and I say, “Good for you, have your own experience.” I’m just sharing what I have learned.
Imagine how much more powerful and immediate your healing work is when supported by the forces of nature, with no distractions from the outside world. The whole universe lines up for you and your intention. This process should not be taken lightly, but respected for the power it offers.
I call upon the South, West, North, East, Below, Above and the Center in a clockwise manner to create my circle. I call upon my ancestors, guides, Higher Self, angels, elementals, power animals, and all my relations on Earth. Each direction has its purpose, its personality, its element and its gift. Rather than tell you exactly how to do it, I encourage you to attend ceremonies and receive it live. The process varies from tradition to tradition and finding what resonates for you makes it real. Indigenous peoples of all races have used this so don’t think because you are not Native American that you don’t have the right to access it. The Celts practice it as well as Pagans and Wiccans.
When you have finished your ceremony or healing work, you need to release the directions in a counter clockwise manner and close sacred space. This is because the sacred space needs your intention to maintain its integrity. If you just leave the space hanging after you are done, then it can get energetically messy. Over time it will probably correct itself, but there is the danger of opening up energetic holes. Also, you need to let your guests go home. One might call it disrespectful that you never officially let them out!
I continually find through my own experience that the methods used for thousands of years by our indigenous peoples have real merit in their present day application. These methods have been kept secret for a long time, but as we reclaim them, their wisdom is effortlessly revealed to us, welcoming us home to our power, our connectedness and our truth.
(c ) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
Healing the Abandonment Abyss, Part 1
By CC Treadway
www.treadwayesoteric.com
Abandonment. For those of us who have experienced this most intense of all wounds, we know how serious it is. In this time of great economic change, of the fear of scarcity, of losing our homes and our jobs, facing abandonment is more important than ever. I have found in my practice that when it comes down to it, everyone is dealing with abandonment, whether it comes in the form of the fear of rejection, the habitual pattern of love avoidance or good old fashioned codependency and love addiction. From my observations, even those that claim to not experience it really do, it’s just more shrouded. What is so heartbreaking to see is the judgment and shame that people place on it, not knowing that their reactions are normal. It hurts to be left, but we usually internalize the rejection, making ourselves wrong and unlovable. The good news is that this universal wound is actually something manageable and healable.
One of my biggest teachers has been the abandonment wound. Coming clean with myself about it and lifting the judgment around it has been one of the most powerful healing responses for both my clients and myself. I continue to grow and learn from it. The fact is codependency is the model we are given for relationship, so its not just the super wounded who need to look at it. However, people who have had early childhood abandonment or abuse will have a more difficult time coping with it as an adult, and yet their system will be patterned for it, so they may find they are reliving brutal rejection and mistreatment time after time, with no tools and no hope to recover or change. Some events that can trigger this old and unhealed wound are a breakup, a death, being fired, a friendship suddenly ending or an intimate partner or friend who is emotionally unavailable. As a healer and a human, I wanted to dive as deeply into the healing of this wound as I could.
Years ago, after experiencing it so many times, I completely devoted myself to healing it. I was sick of feeling awful and powerless. I spent five full months tracking when feelings of abandonment would surface. Sometimes it was triggered by an event as simple as saying goodbye to a friend after a movie, other times it would just come over me with no warning. Mostly it was triggered by the loss of a relationship and what that said about my ability to trust myself, and as it turned out, God. When you get hit by that wound, the mildest reaction is just feeling a bit of sad, lonely discomfort. The most intense reaction is that you feel as though you are completely lost and alone and you must be fed by an external source to survive, addictive feelings begin to control you. It feels like there is nothing supporting you, and nothing to fall back on. It feels like every person in your life doesn’t love you enough or the right way. You begin to try and control your environment and monitor other’s behaviors. It is unhealed child consciousness at its strongest. You must find a primary care giver or you will die. That is the intensity of the emotion. Sick of trying to cover it up, I finally had to surrender to the experience. I wanted to know just how much it was controlling me. I knew that I would be healing it on a deeper level rather than just applying coping mechanisms, or talking myself out of it.
The material I used at that time to get to the core of the wound was a very devastating breakup. One I was having a difficult time moving on from. I just could not heal it and I was mystified that I couldn’t. I felt an emptiness and hopelessness inside that was unending and inconsolable. Taking responsibility for and confronting the abandonment wound is saying that you are willing to face your deepest fear, your deepest pain. While many things happened in my life to assist in healing this pain, it was my unyielding commitment to the process that brought that about.
In those moments where the pain would hit me, I would just sit with myself as the adult, caring witness. I found myself in a deep, black abyss of nothing. It was petrifying at first. And then my child consciousness would appear, crying her eyes out. At the same time that my child consciousness suffered, blamed and cried, my adult consciousness would witness with infinite love, patience and understanding. I had to be strong. I did this again and again and again. One time I had to do it for almost three days straight. It was not easy at all, in fact one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I did not let my child take over by affecting my adult behavior. I did not let her “go to the empty well for a drink” as my healer would say. The empty well would be something like trying to get attention from my ex-boyfriend, even if it was ultimately unsatisfying and hurtful. It would have been reaching for ice cream, or talking on the phone non-stop, or not taking responsibility and blaming him. For others it might be drugs, cigarettes or meaningless sex. Without those vices, I found myself getting to the ultimate wounds- first, abandonment by parents and all the psychology around that, and then inevitably, abandonment by God. That pain was the core, it was unbearable, it was gut wrenching. I felt I had been rejected and betrayed by God, that I didn’t matter at all, the pain was excruciating. I had no choice but to sit with those feelings, to really feel them, to let them out, to hear them.
I sat with this pain a lot. I wanted to be completely unafraid of it. And after some time it was enough. A huge relief washed over me. It was like the weight of the world lifted out of me, making room for the warm, comforting presence of the Divine. It happened automatically, with no preconceived idea that it would. I was overjoyed and felt so cared for. I could feel God within me, filling me, healing me. That was what I really wanted. The abandonment abyss is what most people are doing anything to avoid, but the truth is, if you face it, it passes. And once you get through it, it gets easier and easier.
Now, the interesting thing is that abandonment has become my ally. Whenever it gets triggered, and it still gets triggered, an instant self love reaction takes place. I had no idea this would happen. Each time I am able to touch deeper parts of the beloved within. The best part is that it’s no one else’s responsibility, so I’ve got the power. In these difficult economic times we are all being challenged. Not only are we feeling our own fear, but we are feeling the fear of the world. Trusting that we are loved and cared for in the midst of this chaos takes this practice to a whole new level. It’s challenging, but it’s the only way I know to feel safe.
The other great thing about abandonment is creativity. The best tool we can have right now is our creativity. We will need it to navigate the new world. As our dependency on a corrupt system is crumbling, we need to create the new. Songs, writing, drawing, new business based on love…. all can fill up that seemingly empty void and there is enough for all. This channeling from my guide team describes how abandonment and creativity are linked.
Abandonment Is a Creative Tool
You hold a lot of power as you honor yourself, as you love all parts of yourself. For so long you have tried to eradicate abandonment and now what you are doing is just simply letting go of the idea that it is wrong, it is a gift of story for you as a human, it is a great teacher and there is infinite space and colors in the wound of abandonment. Can you feel the limitless possibilities of creation in the space of abandonment? Can you feel that within yourself - how profound a feeling it is to sit in that space of longing, of emptiness, of pain that seems to stretch as wide as you could possibly fee? Well it is no accident, it is Creators choice, your choice to experience this pain and create within it. There are so many possibilities in life but this vacancy is the abyss. This vacancy is the abyss. And so as you bring forth your creations in this void of voids, you heal, you make more room for yourself, for your expansion, for your colors, for your music, and as you bring in the creativity, divine love pours from your soul, reminding you of who you are, reminding you that this is all temporary and it is a gift. For creativity is divine. It is direct food, the elixir of your being. Feel the gratitude for such a unique expression of who you are, for such a deep experience of your fullness, your completeness in the vacancy. Do not fear this place, but use it now. Use it to heal. For you understand now, that it is not just there to torture you but to serve you into your highest potential. The abandonment wound opens up limitless space for your creations, for you. You can bring in the love, let it shower the pain, let it heal the pain, but only when you accept that this emptiness, this loneliness is there as a gift to serve you as a human can you experience the joy of being abandoned, only to discover you are more than you were before. I know what you are thinking, “How could that be joyful?” but we tell you, humanity is just simply irreplaceable, impossible to replicate, it’s perfect. Thank yourself for choosing this crazy pain, this crazy bliss and create within it.
So the next time you feel someone has left you, the next time you feel you need someone else to fill that empty hole, make it bigger, make that pain as big and wide as you can and start to create. Fill it up, paint the canvas, pick up the guitar, cook a meal, or simply feel every particle of your being expand. This is experiential, you must try it. There is purpose in every experience here. Don’t waste it. Let it fill you, let it be you, choose it again and again, every day. Choose your creative longing to expand within. Choose your humanity. Be proud of who you are, even in your darkest moments you are so brave to live this challenge. We sit in awe of your strength, of your efforts, of your potential.
In Part Two I will go deeper into the chakra system and how it relates to abandonment. I will share some energetic modeling tools that can be immediately applied to heal the wound and talk more specifically about creating in the new world.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
www.treadwayesoteric.com
Abandonment. For those of us who have experienced this most intense of all wounds, we know how serious it is. In this time of great economic change, of the fear of scarcity, of losing our homes and our jobs, facing abandonment is more important than ever. I have found in my practice that when it comes down to it, everyone is dealing with abandonment, whether it comes in the form of the fear of rejection, the habitual pattern of love avoidance or good old fashioned codependency and love addiction. From my observations, even those that claim to not experience it really do, it’s just more shrouded. What is so heartbreaking to see is the judgment and shame that people place on it, not knowing that their reactions are normal. It hurts to be left, but we usually internalize the rejection, making ourselves wrong and unlovable. The good news is that this universal wound is actually something manageable and healable.
One of my biggest teachers has been the abandonment wound. Coming clean with myself about it and lifting the judgment around it has been one of the most powerful healing responses for both my clients and myself. I continue to grow and learn from it. The fact is codependency is the model we are given for relationship, so its not just the super wounded who need to look at it. However, people who have had early childhood abandonment or abuse will have a more difficult time coping with it as an adult, and yet their system will be patterned for it, so they may find they are reliving brutal rejection and mistreatment time after time, with no tools and no hope to recover or change. Some events that can trigger this old and unhealed wound are a breakup, a death, being fired, a friendship suddenly ending or an intimate partner or friend who is emotionally unavailable. As a healer and a human, I wanted to dive as deeply into the healing of this wound as I could.
Years ago, after experiencing it so many times, I completely devoted myself to healing it. I was sick of feeling awful and powerless. I spent five full months tracking when feelings of abandonment would surface. Sometimes it was triggered by an event as simple as saying goodbye to a friend after a movie, other times it would just come over me with no warning. Mostly it was triggered by the loss of a relationship and what that said about my ability to trust myself, and as it turned out, God. When you get hit by that wound, the mildest reaction is just feeling a bit of sad, lonely discomfort. The most intense reaction is that you feel as though you are completely lost and alone and you must be fed by an external source to survive, addictive feelings begin to control you. It feels like there is nothing supporting you, and nothing to fall back on. It feels like every person in your life doesn’t love you enough or the right way. You begin to try and control your environment and monitor other’s behaviors. It is unhealed child consciousness at its strongest. You must find a primary care giver or you will die. That is the intensity of the emotion. Sick of trying to cover it up, I finally had to surrender to the experience. I wanted to know just how much it was controlling me. I knew that I would be healing it on a deeper level rather than just applying coping mechanisms, or talking myself out of it.
The material I used at that time to get to the core of the wound was a very devastating breakup. One I was having a difficult time moving on from. I just could not heal it and I was mystified that I couldn’t. I felt an emptiness and hopelessness inside that was unending and inconsolable. Taking responsibility for and confronting the abandonment wound is saying that you are willing to face your deepest fear, your deepest pain. While many things happened in my life to assist in healing this pain, it was my unyielding commitment to the process that brought that about.
In those moments where the pain would hit me, I would just sit with myself as the adult, caring witness. I found myself in a deep, black abyss of nothing. It was petrifying at first. And then my child consciousness would appear, crying her eyes out. At the same time that my child consciousness suffered, blamed and cried, my adult consciousness would witness with infinite love, patience and understanding. I had to be strong. I did this again and again and again. One time I had to do it for almost three days straight. It was not easy at all, in fact one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I did not let my child take over by affecting my adult behavior. I did not let her “go to the empty well for a drink” as my healer would say. The empty well would be something like trying to get attention from my ex-boyfriend, even if it was ultimately unsatisfying and hurtful. It would have been reaching for ice cream, or talking on the phone non-stop, or not taking responsibility and blaming him. For others it might be drugs, cigarettes or meaningless sex. Without those vices, I found myself getting to the ultimate wounds- first, abandonment by parents and all the psychology around that, and then inevitably, abandonment by God. That pain was the core, it was unbearable, it was gut wrenching. I felt I had been rejected and betrayed by God, that I didn’t matter at all, the pain was excruciating. I had no choice but to sit with those feelings, to really feel them, to let them out, to hear them.
I sat with this pain a lot. I wanted to be completely unafraid of it. And after some time it was enough. A huge relief washed over me. It was like the weight of the world lifted out of me, making room for the warm, comforting presence of the Divine. It happened automatically, with no preconceived idea that it would. I was overjoyed and felt so cared for. I could feel God within me, filling me, healing me. That was what I really wanted. The abandonment abyss is what most people are doing anything to avoid, but the truth is, if you face it, it passes. And once you get through it, it gets easier and easier.
Now, the interesting thing is that abandonment has become my ally. Whenever it gets triggered, and it still gets triggered, an instant self love reaction takes place. I had no idea this would happen. Each time I am able to touch deeper parts of the beloved within. The best part is that it’s no one else’s responsibility, so I’ve got the power. In these difficult economic times we are all being challenged. Not only are we feeling our own fear, but we are feeling the fear of the world. Trusting that we are loved and cared for in the midst of this chaos takes this practice to a whole new level. It’s challenging, but it’s the only way I know to feel safe.
The other great thing about abandonment is creativity. The best tool we can have right now is our creativity. We will need it to navigate the new world. As our dependency on a corrupt system is crumbling, we need to create the new. Songs, writing, drawing, new business based on love…. all can fill up that seemingly empty void and there is enough for all. This channeling from my guide team describes how abandonment and creativity are linked.
Abandonment Is a Creative Tool
You hold a lot of power as you honor yourself, as you love all parts of yourself. For so long you have tried to eradicate abandonment and now what you are doing is just simply letting go of the idea that it is wrong, it is a gift of story for you as a human, it is a great teacher and there is infinite space and colors in the wound of abandonment. Can you feel the limitless possibilities of creation in the space of abandonment? Can you feel that within yourself - how profound a feeling it is to sit in that space of longing, of emptiness, of pain that seems to stretch as wide as you could possibly fee? Well it is no accident, it is Creators choice, your choice to experience this pain and create within it. There are so many possibilities in life but this vacancy is the abyss. This vacancy is the abyss. And so as you bring forth your creations in this void of voids, you heal, you make more room for yourself, for your expansion, for your colors, for your music, and as you bring in the creativity, divine love pours from your soul, reminding you of who you are, reminding you that this is all temporary and it is a gift. For creativity is divine. It is direct food, the elixir of your being. Feel the gratitude for such a unique expression of who you are, for such a deep experience of your fullness, your completeness in the vacancy. Do not fear this place, but use it now. Use it to heal. For you understand now, that it is not just there to torture you but to serve you into your highest potential. The abandonment wound opens up limitless space for your creations, for you. You can bring in the love, let it shower the pain, let it heal the pain, but only when you accept that this emptiness, this loneliness is there as a gift to serve you as a human can you experience the joy of being abandoned, only to discover you are more than you were before. I know what you are thinking, “How could that be joyful?” but we tell you, humanity is just simply irreplaceable, impossible to replicate, it’s perfect. Thank yourself for choosing this crazy pain, this crazy bliss and create within it.
So the next time you feel someone has left you, the next time you feel you need someone else to fill that empty hole, make it bigger, make that pain as big and wide as you can and start to create. Fill it up, paint the canvas, pick up the guitar, cook a meal, or simply feel every particle of your being expand. This is experiential, you must try it. There is purpose in every experience here. Don’t waste it. Let it fill you, let it be you, choose it again and again, every day. Choose your creative longing to expand within. Choose your humanity. Be proud of who you are, even in your darkest moments you are so brave to live this challenge. We sit in awe of your strength, of your efforts, of your potential.
In Part Two I will go deeper into the chakra system and how it relates to abandonment. I will share some energetic modeling tools that can be immediately applied to heal the wound and talk more specifically about creating in the new world.
(c) CC Treadway 2009-10. All rights reserved.
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